NY Mirror

But there's been some kooky timing in the magazine world lately. Poor Lisa Marie's on the cover of the new Gear, going on about how tight and loving she and Tim Burton really are. Whoopsy-daisy! And a recent Time Out New York cover had "Cheap Eats" handwritten in white powder (relax, it was only sugar), a bold choice coming in the middle of the anthrax scare, and one I totally approved of. "Some readers were concerned about that," the mag's editor, Cindy Stivers, told me last week. "It was shot well before any of this started happening. We had the conversation and said, 'Does this look like anthrax? No, it's clearly sugar.' The sensitivity stuff is inevitable, but we're following the mayor's orders to get on with it!" No argument here—I'm downing 16 donuts as we speak, just to be a good citizen.

My appetite whetted, I pranced around on Halloween as a Big Mac and found myself battling even more of that sensitivity stuff. Anxiety-spreading idiots had dampened the celebration by painting it as deeply inappropriate, though a bunch of us brave patriots fought back with fearlessness and fishnets. Still, a visit to the Warhol-themed party at the Gay Center could only last as long as Andy would have wanted—15 minutes.

Speaking of celebrity dress-up, I have some pressing sartorial advice to offer today's biggest stars, like, OK? Alicia Keys, darling, I beg you to take off the headgear. You look like you're hiding from something, and honestly, you shouldn't, because you're not that bad looking—really! And Macy Gray, baby, kindly burn your hats and other doodads immediately. Your raggedy bohemian chic, which was so darned endearing, has morphed into a calculated weirdness that looks like the result of countless bucks and way too much fussing by stylists. Mess it up again! Oh, and Leelee Sobieski, you're fabulash, but please take a little break, pumpkin. You're in everything! Put on a hat!

Grabbing fabulousness: Punks director Patrik-Ian Polk (left) with Renoly SantiaGo, Jazzmun, Dwight Ewell, and Red Savage
photo: Christopher Smith
Grabbing fabulousness: Punks director Patrik-Ian Polk (left) with Renoly SantiaGo, Jazzmun, Dwight Ewell, and Red Savage


musto@villagevoice.com

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