The Skirt Chaser Wins

But in an Alternate Universe, Mayor Michelle Bloomingdale Rules

His employees have testified that he often made critical remarks about some female coworkers' bodies—and approving ones of others. He's been repeatedly accused of sexual harassment. He said in court that he would need an unimpeachable third-party witness in order to believe a woman who claims to have been raped. He's been credited with jokes that hinge on the idea that women are stupid ("If women wanted to be appreciated for their brains, they'd go to the library instead of Bloomingdale's"). And now, rude, crude, skirt-chasing Michael Bloomberg—who, by the way, was not spotted in a library once during his entire campaign—is our mayor-elect.

We don't really know much about the policy plans of the billionaire poised to take over everything from the city's Commission on the Status of Women to its Commission on Human Rights, which works to prohibit sexual harassment and discrimination based on gender. The mayor-to-be, a former Democrat, has said he supports a woman's right to abortion, though he likely wasn't thinking about choice when he reportedly ordered a pregnant employee to "kill it."

Even so, we do know some things about the single executive about town, who's had a string of famous and fabulous girlfriends, including actress and fashion model Marisa Berenson, singer Diana Ross, and currently, Diana Taylor, the chief financial officer of the Long Island Power Authority. The picture that emerges from the little digging done so far is not pretty. He's got an old-style sexual swagger reminiscent of bygone eras—like seventh grade. (When asked in deposition whether he had "ever made a comment to the effect that [he] would like to 'do that piece of meat,' or I'd 'do her in a second,'" Bloomberg replied, "I don't recall ever using the term 'meat' at all.")

Even on Wall Street, where such "nice tomatas" stuff is far from unusual, his company has stood out for its frat house environment, where the primary purpose of females is to be sexy. As reported by Wayne Barrett in these pages, women at Bloomberg testified in court of losing accounts and jobs after getting married and having children. All three sexual harassment suits filed against him charged that his company provided "a hostile environment of persistent sexual harassment and the general degradation of women."

Yet, amid ugly racial division and panic over the plunging economy, these signs that the mayor-to-be is really a creepy sexist were buried—or ignored. Fully 45 percent of women and 52 percent of men voted for Bloomberg, according to exit polls conducted by Edison Media Research. Intriguingly, among women who said their foremost concern was that a mayor "care about people like me," 70 percent voted for Green and only 26 percent cast their ballots for Bloomberg.

But let's pretend for a moment that the strangest political upset in city history didn't happen. Come instead to an alternate New York City, in which a woman holds the highest office. Of course, it's difficult to imagine a woman in Bloomberg's shoes—and not just because, in his world, babes belong in spiky, stiletto numbers. Nor because there's not a woman in this city who has $60 million to spend on buying an election. (And women are the big shoppers, Mayor Smarty-Pants?) No, it's that women just don't have the social leeway to get away with his kind of hound-dog behavior.

Consider the explanation of his 1993 divorce from Susan Brown Bloomberg offered in his autobiography, Bloomberg by Bloomberg: "I like to go out and party." Assume that, within this alternate city, a woman might be elected mayor. Stretch a little farther and imagine that that woman might be divorced. Now, hang on as we zoom into an entirely alien metropolis, and envision this female mayor telling anyone that she "likes to party."

"Oh yeah, I'm going to party hearty tonight," Mayor Michelle Bloomingdale might confide in her chum, the female police commissioner. "I mean, who wants to hang around looking at Commissioner Squishy Buns all night? His butt's flat as a pancake!"

Or imagine Mayor Bloomingdale taking the position on sexual street dynamics attributed to our real mayor-elect. According to The Portable Bloomberg: The Wit and Wisdom of Michael Bloomberg, a book of jokes compiled by his employees and laughed off by Bloomberg, the former executive knows "for a fact that any woman who walks past a construction site and doesn't get a whistle will turn around and walk past again and again until she does get one." Hey, maybe Mayor Michelle could go down to ground zero and give some validating hoots to those hunky recovery workers.

What happens when Mayor Michelle actually beds one of the many gold-digging guys that flock to her? Referring again to the indispensable Portable Bloomberg, the problems are likely to start the next day. The Bloomberg joke book holds that "I'll respect you in the morning" ranks as one of the world's three biggest lies. (Get it? Men say this even though, really, women who have sex are cheap sluts. Ha-ha!)

Never mind that this—um, quip—sounds like something your doddering, 80-year-old uncle might say. It might be okay to have a tin-eared Shecky Bloomberg for mayor if his bad jokes weren't so clearly a window onto the contempt with which the brutish exec really regards half of New Yorkers.

But back to our alternate city. Poor Herzoner is struggling through an awkward breakfast in Gracie Mansion. Her evening companion is truly easy on the eyes, but when he opens those chiseled lips—sorry, studmuffin, she's gotta run. Even as she sends him on his way and begins her busy day, Mayor Michelle can take a little comfort. No, she may not respect her lay this morning, but at least she doesn't have to look at the guy for four whole years.

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what a sham that I do not like Ruport Murdoch, that senile octogenarian dating a muuuuuuch

younger Oriental ho.............................and it is a shame even further that none but me is commenting,

but it is a boring Sunday in Kingston, NY, a creepy upstate burgh, the dumping ground of New York

to which I fled post 9/ll after 4 years in Florida...........later for which I ran post 9/ll

after FEMA gave me a whole big $18,000 a year like for those  penned up stallions 60 minutes started to report but dropped, as usual.


The people at the DOE, trying to take a crap on everyone, but doesn't everyone, all the mayors

since Koch killing low income housing - Koch being the only one I know who kept his rent control

apartment while allowing landlords to phase out rent control - who then goes and buys a house

in Westchester.


Guiliani - the cross-dressing anal retentive loser, who marries his cousin cause it was bettor than having sex with her w/o the license altho I know a Post descendent (CWPost - sorry Linda) who did.

Who went on to continuosly teacher bash in true the Republican style of union busting - and proceeded to neglect the outer boroughs.


So what is the surprise that womanizer like Bloomberg should take office on the false notion that

he would drag up all the Jewish wannabees, thinking that he would drage them into wealth - Ricans

in particular - didn't Clinton, a democrat do that by feeling our pain, and then leaving office with

a shoe in his foot but million dollar speaking fees and a $7 mil  wedding for the kid.


Those same voters blaming Jews and teacher for everything post 9/ll as the typical backstabbing

nut jubs they are.


Having to spend 4 years in Fla was an eyeopener - thanks NYC for not providing decent affordable

housing for anyone but particularly for disabled and seniors - for which mayors and governors

and landlords and Trump are to blame.  Four years in and out of shelters, and on bad marriage

to someone I met in assited living (the one assisted living facility in the whole world that was

sort of ok) and then divorce - more about that - only to return to NYC under the Bloomberg watch

only to find the only place to stay that I could afford on a disability check after 20 years at the

DOE as a vet teacher was in a Hostel designed for foreign students travelling here.  Thank you

Koch, Giuliani and now Bloomberg - I am in the dumping ground of NYS in a slanting Sec. 8

apt....the only prize being my lovely, adorable married landlord who I taught to apoligize for

his "baaaad" male behavior, ie advance.


Bloomberg altho more aggressive - and upon hearing from an aquaintance that Bloomberg loves

women - yeah in quantity and the less Jewish the bettor, and that he has become an Independent,

..............I decided to review the situation,.  I must say - I am not impressed, neither with him or

the Voice.