Holiday Happenings

Move Your F'in' Car! It's Christmas!
Got the holiday blues already? Feast upon the lights of Brooklyn. The borough hosts some of the wildest holiday-decorated houses in America. Jump on the W or N subway and make your way to Bensonhurst and Dyker Heights (between 80th and 86th streets, and Tenth and Thirteenth Avenues). Each year draws over 150,000 visitors a year. Don't miss 1145 84th Street, 1152 84th Street, and 1062 84th Street. There you'll behold sights that'll make you marvel at the electric bill or curse at the traffic. Homeowners spend thousands of dollars on Christmas lights, spotlights, and more lights. Complete miniature villages are created; Santas give out candy canes; 30-foot-high motorized figures—think outdoor Radio City: It's gaudy, it's heartwarming, it's crazy . . . it's free, cheapskate! (ABER)

'Radio City Christmas Spectacular'
Radio City loves nothing more than a big, fat, shiny seasonal spectacle, and this merry Christmas is no exception. With over 1.2 million patrons last year alone, the event nears the cult status of say, Disneyland. To celebrate high attendance numbers and their 75th anniversary, the 50 millionth patron (since opening in 1933)—expected to arrive this year—will receive four tickets for life! Yes! That's right, if you win, you and three friends can see the parade of the wooden soldiers every year until the day you die! Paying customers will feel just as lucky, with a cast of 140 precision dancers, showy costumes, an erotic Rockettes-cum-leggy reindeers "White Christmas in NY" (no not dust, ash, or anthrax—snow, silly!), and a 3D filmic tour of Gotham—'cause Christ would've wanted it that way. Plus more, more, more. Also not to miss: Radio City's A Christmas Carol with Tim Curry as Scrooge. Through December 29, Radio City, Sixth Avenue and 50th Street, 307-1000. (PERETTI)

'Betty: 2001 Space Holidays'
The fun-loving gals of Betty wrap themselves up in Christmas lights and pour on the holly-jolly pop theatrics for this Saturday-night series featuring guest singer-songwriters Toshi Reagon, Dan Zanes, Sean Altman, and more. Each week, storytellers—including the Moth's Shelagh Ratner—weave sugar-plum tales. Plus, a surprise visit by Ms. Claus! December 8, 15, 22, and 28 at 8:30, Joe's Pub, 425 Lafayette Street, 239-6200. (SPARTOS)

'The Eight: Reindeer Monologues'
Pssst. You. With the seasonal scowl. Want to see Santa interrogated like a war criminal? His ruddy cheeks and bushy beard shake in defensive, campy horror? Then please, alert your friends (and neighbors) to come one, come all! After a 1995 Adobe Theatre debut, the verbose monologist reindeer of The Eight: Reindeer Monologues will fly the hostile skies to land onstage at the Ohio Theatre. This is a production designed for the urban sophisticate (to whom religious propaganda serves as wearying kryptonite), so gather round, and listen close, adult children! You shall hear Santa's "elite flying force" tell ALL in an investigation into the red-bedecked boss and his dirty secrets. Screw the mistletoe! Through December 22, Ohio Theatre, 66 Wooster Street, 966-4844. (PERETTI)

Holidays on the Boob Tube
By the time I was six, my father convinced me the holidays were ruined by greedy merchants capitalizing on our religious beliefs . . . which meant he lost the gift money at the racetrack. Fortunately, we always had television. This year the Museum of Television & Radio celebrates the season with holiday episodes of our favorite shows, as well as annual classics such as 1966's Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas and 1964's Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Other holiday shows include The Muppets, All in the Family, and The Weinerville Chanukah Special. Just a sampling of the visual holiday fare for you to feast upon. Bon app*tit. Through December 30, Museum of Television & Radio, 25 West 52nd Street, 621-6800. (ABER)

The Voice's Holiday Preview:

"Seasonal Brew: Getting Into the Holiday Spirits"

"Holiday Happenings"

"Chow Choices: A Holiday Food Miscellany"

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