Naughty Holiday Gifts

If the shirt that says, "I Watch a Lot of Porno" ($15, says it all, well, you've got plenty of porno out there to consume. For budding erotica writers, Susie Bright's How to Read/Write a Dirty Story is the absolute bomb, and for readers, check out the stunning new collection called See Dick Deconstruct: Literotica for the Satirically Bent, by Ian Philips. Remote-control hounds will want to get out the head cleaner (for your VCR, people!) before viewing lesbian-produced porno Sugar High Glitter City ($39.95,; Good Vibrations-produced picnic-turned-sexfest Slide Bi Me ($39.95,; one of the most ambitious interracial hetero videos out there, West Side ($24.99, www.videoteam. com); Handball Loving, all about the fine art of anal fisting for men ($38.95,; and the Ivy Manor series, a new group of high-quality BDSM videos ($49.95 each,

For those of us with a foot fetish, what better gift than a Rejuvenating Foot Care Gift Basket, with foot soak, foot cooler spray, cleansing gel, coconut foot balm, wooden foot file, and footsie massager ($49, If you're just dipping your toes in the sex pool, ease into it with a mail-order company that carries classic pinup art, hard-to-find erotic comic books, and other esoteric erotica. Consider giving five exquisite photographic prints of Bettie Page ($21.95, by Bunny Yeager, the model-turned-photographer. It's a luscious sample, yet so tasteful you can leave them hanging on the walls when the parents come over for holiday dinner.

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