Like a Motown Cowboy

"It took too long, but I stood my height/ you could say I'm wrong, but you ain't right": Kid Rock said that. "I've never kissed an ass or licked a boot and I won't ever compromise what I believe in": Johnny Paycheck said that. But what if what you believe in is kissing asses if not licking boots? What if you believe in boasting about meeting the president while stoned and dating Pamela Anderson all while you proclaim you Just Don't Give a Fuck? What if you brag about "slapping the gardeners and fucking the maids" to people who might just be gardeners and maids?

It is possible to love the creed "I Fought the Law and the Law Won" too much. Fall for it hook, line, and sinker and you end up needing the law—you need it to hit you upside your head and grant you your status in the trade-off, ultimately to justify your very existence. You end up loving the law, in a perverse sort of way: You love the way it kicks your ass and then gives you your name. Kid Rock is a most confusing motherfucker: desperate to show you how little he cares if you care. Kid Rock is a most crafty dog as well. Just when bling bling seems bankrupt, he brings out the flag, and he gets his bling too. Motherfuck the arena circuit: I can't wait for the USO tour.

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