By Steve Weinstein
By Devon Maloney
By Tessa Stuart
By Alison Flowers
By Albert Samaha
By Jesse Jarnow
By Eric Tsetsi
By Raillan Brooks
SAGITTARIUS(Nov. 22-Dec. 21):
Some years ago, urban shaman Donna Henes conjured up a three-week ceremony called "Dressing Our Wounds in Warm Clothes." Equal parts performance art and healing ritual, it was staged at the Manhattan Psychiatric Center on Wards Island, a scrap of land that also hosts a sewage disposal plant. In its ambition, the event rivaled Mother Teresa's well-publicized toilet cleaning at a leper colony. I bring Henes's noble act of creativity to your attention, Sagittarius, because you'd be smart to draw inspiration from it. The astrological omens suggest it's a perfect time to salve your worst boo-boos with artful ingenuity.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19):
One of the most poignant heroes of children's literature is the Hungry Tiger from Oz. In a sequel to the famous Wizard of Oz, the beast explains his dilemma to Dorothy. On the one hand, he's always longing to devour little creatures. On the other hand, he has made a moral decision not to. Alas, there is never a time when he finally quashes the urge. Whenever he comes upon a plump chicken or baby, he must steel his will to act in accordance with his conscience. Though he gets plenty of other foodpotatoes and ice cream are his favoriteshe eternally feels deprived. Sound familiar, Capricorn? This is a perfect description of what many of you have been experiencing. Now here's the good news: An extra-delicious feast of potatoes and ice cream is on the way.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18):
I work hard at my job. A single oracle can require hours of research and meditation. I also take my responsibility to you very seriously. Having been misled by fortune-tellers myself, I'm scrupulous about nurturing, not undermining, your free will and imagination. It's amazing, then, when I get mail like the following from James in L.A.: "I really believe you lie awake at night full of too much coffee, thinking up meandering, Neanderthal musings while in a state of abstract brain burps." Luckily, I'm not hurt by such comments, which offer no constructive criticism. I may not be perfectly wise, but I know how much heart and soul I consistently offer. Please cultivate a similar attitude, Aquarius. People may not fully appreciate you in the coming days, and your faith in your own integrity may have to sustain you.
The Televisionary Oracle
A Novel by Rob Brezsny
A lusty but sensitive rock star encounters the leader of a goddess - worshiping religious order that values pranks as much as prayers.
Check out Rob's band World Entertainment War.
Want to know more about Rob, or look up past horoscopes? Visit freewillastrology.com.
You can contact Rob at email@example.com.
PISCES(Feb. 19-March 20):
In Asian myth, snakes and birds are often portrayed as adversaries. My dictionary of symbolism says their eternal war represents humanity's difficulty in coordinating the concerns of heaven and earth. Morality is often at odds with desire; good intentions in opposition to unconscious motivations; bright rationality set against dark poetry. What are we to think, then, Pisces, about the dreams and visions you'll be having in the coming weeks, wherein snakes and birds enjoy great adventures together, cooperating harmoniously? I'd say you're on schedule for some sweet unifications.
If you became ruler of the world, what three decrees would you issue immediately to begin the mass healing? Write: firstname.lastname@example.org.