By Steve Weinstein
By Devon Maloney
By Tessa Stuart
By Alison Flowers
By Albert Samaha
By Jesse Jarnow
By Eric Tsetsi
By Raillan Brooks
SAGITTARIUS(Nov. 22-Dec. 21):
My psychotherapist friend specializes in couples counseling. With a wisdom tempered by years of mediation, she has come up with an idea about how best to prepare for marriage. Before tying the knot, an engaged couple should test their compatibility with a month-long journey through the third world. If they still like each other after picking the lice out of their hair in Bangladesh and nursing each other through bouts of diarrhea in Laos, they will have earned a license to wed. I think every couple would benefit from tests like this, both in the early stages of their relationship and regularly thereafter. I bring this up, Sagittarius, because it's a perfect time, astrologically speaking, to embark on an experiment in togetherness that'll be a potent bonding experience.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19):
During baseball season, a professional pitcher may hurl a ball 80 to 90 miles per hour a hundred times every few days. Each throw requires many body parts to be coordinated in a complex motion. If a pitcher inadvertently develops a flaw in his delivery, no matter how minor, he can set himself up for serious muscle and ligament strains. That's why some players visit the Biomechanics Lab at the University of Alabama Birmingham before they get hurt. Doctors there use sophisticated technology to detect nascent bad habits. To avoid having to go through rehablater, the athlete undergoes prehab. I recommend this way of thinking to you, Capricorn. Take preventive action now.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18):
Today's bestselling poet, the ecstatic Sufi named Rumi, has been dead for 729 years. Prompted in part by his marketability, Time magazine even named him "mystic of the century" for the 13th century. Aside from Shakespeare's plays and the Bible, is any other venerable text still so widely read? I doubt it. As a fan of Rumi's visionary love poems myself, I recommend his work to youespecially during the coming weeks, when you'll be in prime time to expand your relationship with spiritual rapture and erotic delight. I dare you to seek communion with God while making love.
The Televisionary Oracle
A Novel by Rob Brezsny
A lusty but sensitive rock star encounters the leader of a goddess - worshiping religious order that values pranks as much as prayers.
Check out Rob's band World Entertainment War.
Want to know more about Rob, or look up past horoscopes? Visit freewillastrology.com.
You can contact Rob at firstname.lastname@example.org.
PISCES(Feb. 19-March 20):
The fork did not quickly gain acceptance as an everyday eating utensil. Though introduced to Europe in the 11th century, it was regarded as an upper-class affectation for hundreds of years. "Instead of eating with her fingers like other people," a medieval clergyman wrote of a Venetian noblewoman, "the princess cuts up her food into small pieces and eats them by means of little golden forks with two prongs." I invoke this historical fact, Pisces, to draw a comparison to your life. The innovation you're now in the midst of making may be ignored and even ridiculed at first, but ultimately it will become indispensable.
Whether or not you believe in reincarnation, imagine that you once lived another life. Where was it? What was it like? Who were you? Testify: email@example.com