By Alex Distefano
By Scott Snowden
By Anna Merlan
By Steve Almond
By Jena Ardell
By Jon Campbell
By Alan Scherstuhl
By Tessa Stuart
Being gay in 2002 means we might not necessarily be able to marry, adopt, or join the armed forces, but honey, we are in every sitcom! We're a regular riot, girlfriend, our flouncy gestures and bons mots providing a cathartic giggle for the entire TV-watching populace. We've got a place at the table, all right, even if it's only a fictional table that's dismantled at 10 p.m.and by the way it's usually not even remotely adjacent to the bedroom unless the show is on cable.
Am I sounding an itsy bit bitter? Well, as Gay Pride Day approaches and the nipple clamps tighten, I'm going to throw off all negativity as if it were a Century 21 shawl and appreciate what progress we havemade, even in the land of neutery second bananas and laugh tracks. Take Saturday Night Livetake it all. For decades, the show wallowed in homophobia and stereotypesand I'm sure it still willbut now that queerdom is the new navy blue, it's been pushing a way more gay-friendly agenda to the sound of cash registers ka-ching-ing. Back in March, guest host Jon Stewartmade yay-gay remarks that straight comics once would have run from, holding their crotches and screaming. And just a week later, Sir Ian McKellendid a bracing comic monologue, saying he felt much more welcome on the show than at that morning's Saint Patrick's Day Parade"they don't seem to mind the priests, though, do they?" Sir Ian climaxed his appearance by planting a big, old, juicy smooch on Jimmy Fallonwhile in full drag. (Too bad so many cynics pounced on the esteemed Brit for having such a hot young boyfriend in real life that he stopped being photographed with the guy. This happens all the time with gay celeb relationshipsthe threatened media and public race to declare them horribly corrupt.)
Anyway, the week Sir Ian did SNLwas the most gay-licious one ever, especially since it was the same week that Liza Minnellimarried David Gest! Also flaming up the airwaves were no less than two Matthew Shepard TV movies (if you're gay, it helps to murder or be murdered to get a film project green-lighted), plus the sight of daytime darling Rosie O'Donnellfinally coming out, eventually calling me and Michelangelo Signorile"morons" and "gay Nazis" for trying to push her there. I could handle that, but I had more of a problem with Rosie's refusal to admit that she'd been cagey all those years, and for careerist reasons. Instead, she insisted she'd never misled her audience and claimed her Tom Cruise shtick was not meant romantically. (Pleaseeven a promo for her final show, while acknowledging how gay it was going to be, trumpeted an appearance by her "dream man," Tom.) But Rosie could be an extremely positive force, and she's getting more sensitive by the minute, even dropping her argument that Ellen DeGenereswas "offensive" in the way she came out. (Howunapologetically? Though sadly, Ellen herself has felt the need to recant, telling Next magazine, "I think [Rosie] just studied what I did and learned what not to do." Tellingly, in her latest comedy appearance, Ellen didn't do a single gay joke.)
In another case of "better late than never," Frasier's David Hyde Piercewent to the Emmys with his partnerhow semi sort of bold of himbut the tabloids are still filled with your ambiguous performers who, the second rumors pop up, make sure to get caught licking whipped cream off female strippers at some paparazzi-laden hooch bar. Methinks the ladies doth protest too much.
The coolest public figure around has been Mike Piazza, who didn't avoid questions about his sexuality when the issue cropped up due to some very slippery reportage. With a refreshing sense of calm, the comely Mets catcher simply said he was straight, but it wouldn't matter in the least if he weren't. The directness and affability of his response made all the other people screaming that Piazza's name had been "dragged through the mud" look a bit foolish.
Alas, we're striking out in movies, kids. As prevalent as we are on the small screen, that's exactly how invisible we are again on the large one (except for the smash Spider-Man, which couldn't resist a piece of homophobic shtick). For any kind of representation or safety, you have to stick to the theater, where the line between blue-haired matinee lady and onstage male talent blurs by the minute. On Broadway, the big attraction once again will be queer pioneer Harvey Fiersteinprancing about in drag (in the musical Hairspray). In the last three decades, Harvey was right about everythingfrom the way the world was noticing us as a result of the devastation of AIDS to the importance of gays' adoptingand if he now wants to sing and dance in a housedress, I say let him.
Of course gay adoption still has its criticsstay with me, folksone of whom is a New York Postcolumnist who vehemently feels children deserve parents of both sexes. Alas, herkids can't enjoy that exalted situation, since their father's in jail, and he and the columnist are divorced anyway! (As Liz Smithwrote about the woman, "She has been struggling to liberate herself from an unhappy and old-fashioned lifestyle.")