By Alex Distefano
By Scott Snowden
By Anna Merlan
By Steve Almond
By Jena Ardell
By Jon Campbell
By Alan Scherstuhl
By Tessa Stuart
'THE ALEGRIA CIRCUS'
If any outfit on the circuit has a sense of imagination, it's got to be the Alegria crew. The Latino-tinged tribalthons usually take their devilish themes out to the hilt, from dressing their go-go boys in elaborate body designs ( . . . prosthetic horned cocks, digital print paint by artist Cjaythe works, honey!) to enlisting cadres of vicious drag queens to walk the festivities amid showers of intense lighting for a visual array that is both garish and fantastic. Resident DJs Abel and DeMarko spin the wheels for those who need their good time painstakingly art directed. Sun at 11, Sound Factory, 618 W 46th, www.alegriaevents.com, $70. (JG)
'BLACK PRIDE CRUISE'
Boat soirees are usually fun only because you have no choice but to stick around and dance your ass offyou can't leave! One can imagine they're even more enjoyable when there's a chance of scoring with a hot manand he can't leave either! Black Pride invites you to sail on the Hudson River with the Paddle Wheel Queens. Two floors of the Good Lady host house, r&b, hip-hop, and reggae for a party that benefits August's Black Pride NYC event. Sun at 6:15, docked near E 23rd off FDR Dr, 718-346-3589, 613-0097, umenent.com, $35. (JG)
'DANCE ON THE PIER'
It's probably the least fabulous of all the parties, but Heritage of Pride is in its 16th year of hosting this tea dance on the foot of the Hudson that happens immediately after the parade. Doña Vasquez herself pumps the wheels of steel with his popular stop-and-go tribal licks for all the gals who want to get in a little early action, with an after-party happening shortly afterward at Earth. Sun at 4, Pier 54 on Hudson River Park, 13th and W Side Highway, 800-494-TIXS. (JG)
'GARDEN OF EARTHLY DELIGHTS'
Doña Vasquez's post-Pier fete is charged with a heavy roster of guests to keep you moving. Kevin Aviance (in demand this season) battles it out for the title of the fiercest against drag upstart Power Infiniti. For all the Manhattanites who missed Angie Stone's Friday-night performance, she, along with vocalist Joi Cardwell (still amazing), land on planet Earth to entertain you. Sun at 11, Earth, 610 W 56th, 582-8282, $75-$100. (JG)
Vibe editor Emil Wilbekin, Rob Fernandez, Billy Malillo, Yamil, and BQE are about to bring it with what is possibly the hottest roster of guests for any event on the slate. (Deep breath . . . ) Dave Morales will be spinning his banging blend of garage and deep house in the main room of the Cheetah, as Milk/Movida DJ T-Pro backs it up in the hip-hop room. On diva patrol is the Queen of Hooks, Ashanti, giving a live performance. Sun at 10, Cheetah, 21 W 21st, $20. (JG)
Parties for the girls
Their D.C. Black Pride party tore shit up and you shouldn't expect anything less when Pride is brought home. Gliza brings you interstate exotic dancing queen Oohzee as the Caribbean-Latin party slips into a "come get laid" theme for the '02. Bring a flag and get reduced entrance. The best Caribbean outfit wins a prize, so break out the cowry-shelled belt, white ruffled-laced skirt, and head wrap. Missy "B" brings hip-hop, house, and r&b upstairs, while Trini turns out hip-grinding reggae, soca, merengue, and salsa on the lower level. Come represent! Thu at 7, 2i's, 248 W 14th, btwn Seventh and Eighth aves, 917-541-7176, www.gsspot.com, $8. (KF)
It's midnight, and the lower level of Escuelita is blaring house from speakers, but this is no boy party, oh no. Fridays are overrun with beautiful ethnic women, dancing to "Chip Chop" Gonzalez and laughing at the snide humor of comedy hostess Tammy Peay and gallant drag maven Angel Sheridan. Her/She Bar and Tre's Promotions rev up the weekend with a "Fevered" Sexy Talent Show (the winner takes home a gift certificate for libidinous Toys in Babeland goodies), a special drag show by the Escuelita divas, a bunch of the go-gos you love, the infamous and über-flexible Oohzee, and more. Fri at 10, Escuelita, 301 W 39th, at Eighth Ave, 252-3387, $8-$10. (KF)
'LADIES OF HIP-HOP AND R&B TRIBUTE'
Join the Fraggle Rock house band and Maine, GLOSS's Chloe Jo, infiniTEE, Scrappy, Jessica Rose, and others as they do tunes in homage to the magnificent divas of hip-hop and r&b. DJ BK Brewster spins upstairs and DJ Chama works the lower lap-dance lounge. Fri at 10:30, Meow Mix, 269 E Houston, at Suffolk, 254-0688, $5-$12. (KF)
Not only is it Pride, but it's also the fifth anniversary for the Warehouse crew, so you know they're going to hook the evening up. Whoever said the Bronx doesn't have its own thing goin' on is missing out. Melissa Morgan takes the stage as DJs Tita Gray, Donna, Trini, and Missy hang out on the tables. Oohzee sure is doing the rounds this yearshe's also making an appearance here alongside exotic dancer Onyx. Fri at 11, Warehouse, 141 E 140th, Bx, 718-992-5974, $12-$15. (KF)
'THE DYKE MARCH'
Back when I was single, the only reason I went to the Dyke March was to see how many women my overanxious newbie self could scope in one day. For today's unattached, the annual march is still a good incentive to go out and shed the introversion. Imagine a grand celebration descending Fifth Avenue with hundreds of women that you can actually hear if you say hellobeats cruisin' a monster party, right? I know it's shallow to say picking up women is the only reason to go. Of course, it's all about pride, protesting, and solidarity too, so here's to hoping it doesn't rain this year. Sat at 5, Bryant Park, 42nd and Sixth Ave, 479-8520. (KF)