NY Mirror

Anyway, is the actress-producer happy? "I feel pretty good," Ricci said. "I'm making movies I want to make." So no one's bothering her? "No. I left my stalker outside with specific directions." To where—myhouse?

Another night, I followed the directions to B.B. King's second anniversary bash and got to dish with singer Phoebe Snow, who turns out to worship trashy blind items and twisted gossip. I love bringing legends to my own level!

Peoplemagazine is already at my level with that bathtub shot of skier Jonny Moseleyin their "Top 50 Bachelors" spread. But that can't be his schlong hanging out in the bathwater, can it? Can it?

All right I'll can it, but first let me report that while Martha"I want to focus on my salad" Stewart's crisis has already spawned a Web site—Marthastewartlivinginjail.com—I think she'll be fine, especially since the worst-case scenario has her getting the chance to hand-make so many darling license plates. By the way, Martha's stock has been plummeting because of her scandal, so I advise you all to promptly dump your shares—no, wait, that's illegal.

Speaking of no-no behavior, the Mr. Deeds commercial starts with Winona Ryderscreaming, "Help! I'm being robbed!" Yeah, and how does it feel, honey?

As for larger legal issues, I feel fine about the court decision saying the Pledge of Allegiance's "one nation under God" phrase is unconstitutional. Alas, the verdict has all the flag wavers and Bible thumpers up in arms, clearly forgetting that separation of church and state is a hallmark of our free society. Appallingly, their most repeated argument is, "No one thinks about the meaning anyway." Then why are they so pissed about changing the words?

My choice? "One nation under Cher."

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