Sonic Euthanasia

I wish it didn't have to be that way. The bargain bin is already overflowing with efforts by bands who have overstayed their welcome. Why not reduce future clutter? Your place in rock history is certainly secure, what with you basically reinventing the sound of the electric guitar and influencing, like, every cool rock band in the past decade. You've released more than enough material to tide us over for years to come. Plus, the time and money that we would have spent on your concerts and new releases could go to the younger, more exciting bands you've always championed and mentored.

Please think about it, Sonic Youth. Calling it quits would allow you to spend more time with your kids, your spouses, your record labels and clothing companies and art exhibitions. Or you could just sit around reflecting on how cool you are. You must be tired after all these years. You deserve a long vacation. But everything I've said here should come as no surprise. After all, aren't you the band that told me to kill my idols?

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