Freak Wave

Summer's Bonanza Includes Unusually Nutty Celebrity news. Tabloid Heaven or Hell?

MICHAEL DOLAN
Age 31
Resides Bronx
Occupation Musician

Should Ted Williams be frozen? This is all about greed. It's an insane three-and-a-half-minute cartoon that can't have a happy ending.

How long will Julia Roberts's marriage last? The fact that she got married at all is irrelevant.

Was Michael Jackson discriminated against? I'm glad that Sony's response to his charges was to say, "Shut up. Your records aren't selling because you're a pedophile." His record Invincible was called that because he escaped unscathed after paying that family $24 million to shut them up. He's desperately clinging to the Bad album. I'd really like a legitimate artist to fight for the royalty issue. Run DMC was trapped in a bad contract. Ronnie Spector isn't getting any royalties.


KRISTINE FERAL
Age 22
Resides Manhattan
Occupation Singer-songwriter

Should Ted Williams be frozen? No. People should be buried. Ted Williams isn't supposed to be brought back. It's unnatural. I don't think that God, or whatever you want to call him, the Major Dude, wants that. If somebody froze me I'd kill them. I don't believe in life after death.

How long will Julia Roberts's marriage last? I don't think it will last. Maybe she feels that marriage was the one thing missing in her life, or that she wants to have kids and she has to be married to do it.

Was Michael Jackson discriminated against? Michael Jackson is white. His skin is white. He can't speak for black people, but he's trying to get them on his side because he made himself white. Al Sharpton's on the ride for the publicity. Who even listens to Michael Jackson anymore? He should just be his gay, white self and people might go out and buy his albums. It's like Bill Clinton saying he didn't inhale. He should have just told the truth and people would have gotten over it.


THOMAS HARMON
Age 37
Resides Manhattan
Occupation Real estate broker

Should Ted Williams be frozen? I have no response to that, but I wouldn't let myself be frozen. If you take a look at the things most religions teach, they don't add up. In Sunday school they say you die and stay dormant until Judgment Day, and then you go to heaven or hell, but this is not my belief. We have to die, but I think you come back, and you keep coming back until you get it right.

How long will Julia Roberts's marriage last? I think it's going to stick, but that's just my gut reaction. As to her busting up his marriage, that happens all the time. If someone's willing to cheat on their partner with me, what's to keep them from cheating on me with somebody else?

Was Michael Jackson discriminated against? He says he's not a freak, but he is a little odd. He gets picked on. I wish schoolteachers and health care professionals got the kind of money these musicians get. If you want the fame, these are the deals. You can't have it all, genius and happiness. What's the use of being here if you do? I'd rather have a great love than be famous.


EMILY PIERCE-DELANEY
Age 20
Resides Brooklyn
Occupation Student

Should Ted Williams be frozen? No. When he was alive, he didn't want his personal life made public, and when he died I think he wanted to be cremated. His son shouldn't sell his DNA any more than the government should collect it for a DNA bank. People aren't even aware of how quickly they're losing their rights.

How long will Julia Roberts's marriage last? In America, stars have become our royalty. We put them on a pedestal. It's ridiculous that we pay more attention to her wedding than to what's going on in Colombia or Afghanistan. The stigma of not being married exists all over the world. It's the same as having to have children.

Was Michael Jackson discriminated against? This has nothing to do with race or gender. It has to do with the fact that artists work so hard to produce records and most of the money goes to the guys sitting behind the desk eating donuts. Independent labels are going to come back, but the market is still going to be for shirtless girls and bombs exploding. It's not a racial issue. It's about how you look and whose ass you can kiss.


GRAYSON WONG
Age 19
Resides Brooklyn
Occupation Student

Should Ted Williams be frozen? Why not? I think people are just not used to the idea. Cremation and burial are still the norms.

How long will Julia Roberts's marriage last? Probably as long as her last one. Celebrities just can't stay married, but they're used to it.

Was Michael Jackson discriminated against? People aren't used to difference. It's the same thing with the Ted Williams DNA thing. Michael Jackson's bleaching his skin isn't a result of self-hatred, he just looks different than other people. I think he's pissed that his sales are plummeting. He managed to make the cover of the New York Post, which may not be that hard to do.


CINDY LAFLEUR
Age 23
Resides Brooklyn
Occupation Advertising

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