NY Mirror

Disheartened by people in the Village, Liz Smith agrees with Bill O'Reilly that the Gay Pride Parade is "offensive, foolish, and counterproductive." So that's why I've never seen her there. Come on, the parade is the most incident-free, spirited, and inclusive of all such events. We're not ashamed of our drag queens, big-breasted lesbians, and s&m bears—not to mention the tons of sedately dressed marchers—and we'll never be too beaten down to flaunt it on that special day. If the right-wingers use and misuse images of us for their own purposes, that shouldn't drive us under rocks any more than celebs should stay home because a tabloid might misinterpret the way they walk to the convenience store. The days when gays had to pretend to be boring and sexless in order to be thrown crumbs of advancement should be retired forever; who wants progress through deceit and self-denial? I've had it with closety gay people who say we have to tone down our image to appease the homophobes, when it's the flashy ones who are generally driving the bus anyway! A parade is about glitzy celebration—the gay-hating St. Patrick's Day one has people painted green and sometimes vomiting—and to have a GLAAD award winner trash all the effort and diversity that goes into Gay Day must have the Eminems and Rockers of the world rejoicing. And by the way, you should see all the happy families that gather to watch, without a single concern. Kids are warped by shame, not openness.

Calm down, Michael, with some soothing gossip. Like how, at celeb shutterbug Patrick McMullan's party on Wall Street, one of the performers bombed big-time—hasn't that area been hit enough?—though the mood was frolicsome and everyone loved the glitter-covered tableaux vivants of virtually naked guys. In fact, by midnight, more than one guest had glitter on his mouth.

Born into sparkle, Liza Minnelli's adopted baby will be named Serena, so club owner Serena Bass is offering to throw her a free christening. And not on gay night. Meanwhile, I hear that good son Sam Waksal, in his defense, will actually use the fact that he's the child of Holocaust survivors. I'm not making this shit up. And in sibling news, the artist of the millennium's sister, Janet Jackson, has recorded a duet with Beenie Man, a total horror who promotes the execution of queers in Jamaica. Fuck! Shit! Masturbation! If what her ex-hubby says is true, Janet had better avoid going to Jamaica. Maybe!

Standing up for freedom of speech: Rent's Joey Fatone
photo: Bruce Glikas/www.broadway.com
Standing up for freedom of speech: Rent's Joey Fatone


musto@villagevoice.com

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