By Jared Chausow
By Katie Toth
By Elizabeth Flock
By Albert Samaha
By Anna Merlan
By Jon Campbell
By Jon Campbell
By Albert Samaha
ARIES (March 21-April 19):
I predict that your dreams will soon have potent effects on your waking life; they'll help transform conditions that had previously been resistant to change. Maybe you'll dream of being able to ripen green apples just by gazing upon them, for instance, and then find you have a comparable power to expedite evolution in the daytime. Or perhaps you'll dream of time-traveling back to ancient Rome and leading an uprising that frees thousands of slaves, and then later that morning figure out how to liberate yourself from an all-too-real oppression. And who knows what fun will ensue, Aries, after you dream of doing what you were forbidden or too inhibited to do when you were in high school?
TAURUS (April 20-May 20):
My daughter Zoe is modest about her poetry. She worries she hasn't earned the states of awareness she writes about. "I don't know if I'm really as sensitive and deep as I make myself out to be," she confessed as she handed me a beautiful poem recently. I understand Zoe's concern. Am I as enlightened as I appear to be, judging by the noble advice I dispense in these horoscopes? Nope. Yet in the process of conjuring up inspirational messages for you, I find myself striving to live up to their moral power; I become a better person. How about you, Taurus? Is there any gift you can give or service you can provide that will activate your dormant potential? Is there any beauty you can bring to life in your environment that will transform you on the inside?
GEMINI (May 21-June 20):
I live in Northern California, home of more psychotherapists per capita than any place on earth. Though it's fun to joke about it, I'm pleased so many of my neighbors place a high value on exploring and transforming their inner landscapes. If I were king of the world, every citizen would have an inalienable right not just to adequate food, housing, education, and medical care, but also to regular counseling with a wise adviser. Alas, our civilization is not sufficiently enlightened for that revolution. Until it is, Gemini, you should take matters into your own hands. And now, while you're at the top of your game, is a perfect astrological moment to initiate, expand, or cultivate your access to such a guide.
The Televisionary Oracle
A Novel by Rob Brezsny
A lusty but sensitive rock star encounters the leader of a goddess - worshiping religious order that values pranks as much as prayers.
Check out Rob's band World Entertainment War.
Want to know more about Rob, or look up past horoscopes? Visit freewillastrology.com.
You can contact Rob at email@example.com.
CANCER(June 21-July 22):
The cosmic powers have authorized me to grant you a double-strength, time-release dose of sweet certainty. During the coming grace period, your attraction to doubt will fade. A simple resolve will rise up in your heart every time you need one. Though at first the peace you experience may feel eerie, you could get so used to it that you'll forever abandon the chronic vacillation you've assumed was your lot in life.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22):
Quoted in the San Francisco Chronicle, Leo actor Christian Slater bemoaned aspects of his training. "I glommed on to the idea," he said, "that I had to suffer for my art. Acting teachers love to promote the idea that in order to really get into character, you've got to put yourself through emotional hell." Many of you Leos have a similar attitude. You regard your whole life as a work of art that shines brightest when it flirts with interesting pain. In the coming months, though, you'll be called upon to make dramatic revisions in your approach to self-expression. I suggest you take your inspiration from Slater's new and improved belief: "Now I'd say, 'Don't suffer for your art.' "
VIRGO(Aug. 23-Sept. 22):
It'll be a zigzag, flip-flop, which-end-is-up week, Virgo. Every plot twist will quickly split into at least two more; anything that looks like a trick ending will lead to what looks like another trick ending. Your natural talents for thinking on your feet and adapting on the fly will be even better than usual, though, so you're poised to thrive in slippery conditions that may befuddle weaker minds. My advice? Act as if there were no script for the unfolding drama; treat every situation like an improv exercise in an acting class.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22):
The key to Libran happiness, says master astrologer Steven Forrest, is to seek serenity within. He warns that you shouldn't go overboard trying to manipulate the external world into becoming more tranquil. That's not possible, and besides, it's a distraction from the real work, which is best done on yourself. Now here's the really exciting part of Forrest's theory: The most reliable way for you to release tension is by putting yourself in the presence of beauty; by seeking out people and environments that elicit your deep sighs of aesthetic enjoyment. At this particular moment in your astrological history, my dear, that's especially useful advice.
SCORPIO(Oct. 23-Nov. 21):
It's your birthright to become a master of desire, Scorpio. Two related skills are involved. First, you have to regularly pare away all inessential desires and enthrone the precious few that are really important. Second, you have to steadily shed outmoded goals to make room for fresh ones that will consistently lead you away from the past and into the future. It's a tough assignment. Most people never come close to accomplishing such refined potency, and they don't have half the number of desires you do. Can you pull it off? The coming weeks will be a turning point in your quest to claim this birthright.