By Albert Samaha
By Steve Weinstein
By Devon Maloney
By Tessa Stuart
By Alison Flowers
By Albert Samaha
By Jesse Jarnow
By Eric Tsetsi
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): You know how it's possible to expedite the blooming of plants by cultivating them in a greenhouse? I propose that you find a comparable approach to use on your growing anxieties. In other words, Capricorn, compel your worries to mature very rapidly. That way, instead of torturing you with a slow proliferation of half-conscious apprehensions for the next four weeks, they'll ripen overnight into their full-blown state. You'll be able to have a climactic showdown with them by the end of this week, and then move on to more enjoyable explorations. Schedule your worrygasmthe orgasmic culmination of your worriesfor no later than November 27.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): "Why is it so hard to find a soulmate?" asks psychologist Carolyn Godschild Miller in her book Soulmates: Following Inner Guidance to the Relationship of Your Dreams.Her answer: "Because most of us are actually searching for egomates instead. We place the most limited and unloving aspect of our minds in charge of our search for love, and then wonder why we aren't succeeding. . . . To the degree that we identify with this false sense of self, and operate on the basis of its limited point of view, we aren't looking for someone to love so much as recruiting fellow actors to take on supporting roles in a favorite melodrama." I suggest you make this a core meditation for the next seven weeks, Aquarius. After that, you'll be primed to move on to the next question, which is "What can I do to enjoy life with a soulmate?"
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): "Dear Dream Doctor: I dreamed I was caring for a beautiful golden fish in a room with two aquariums. The fish kept leaping from one aquarium to another, and my job was to scoop it up and return it to the water if it missed. I felt bad for it because it couldn't decide which aquarium it liked better. One was big and classy but sterile, and the other was small and funky but had lots of cool castles and toys. As soon as the fish jumped into one aquarium, it was already looking longingly at the one it had just left. What does my dream mean, O Wise Oracle? Frustrated Piscean Caretaker." Dear Frustrated: In your next dream, relocate the fish to a lake or ocean where it will have many environments to choose from.
The Televisionary Oracle
A Novel by Rob Brezsny
A lusty but sensitive rock star encounters the leader of a goddess - worshiping religious order that values pranks as much as prayers.
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