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Comments (0) By Michael Musto Tuesday, Nov 26 2002

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I went genital into that good night for the sixth-anniversary performance of Chicago, which is in tip-top undulating shape. In fact, if the movie version is a hundredth as tight as the show still is, it'll be better than Moulin Rouge. At the after-party at the Time Hotel, choreographer Ann Reinking was the fun one to watch, especially when I saw her tell a chorus girl, "I hope I didn't insult you before. You know you're attractive!"

The otherwise attractive (if seven-eighths alien) Kelly Osbourne has adopted the rotten trend of using the word gay to signify obnoxious. When the Postasked her what she's listening to these days, Kelly said, "This is gonna be really gay, but it's myself." Well, this is gonna be really fat, but shut up, be-otch!

photo: Staci Schwartz

Going to the chapel: two of the showgirls from Rouge attend services at Estate's opening night.

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Madonna's cameo in Die Another Day is really gay—literally—and it's one of the quieter moments in the deadening, deafening flick. I even like her video for the title song, though she made waves by using Hebrew symbols in it. But why have no one's genital Wonder Bras gotten into a twist over Maddy saying that all the Kabbalah rituals "have been appropriated by the Jewish faith. But I think people have misinterpreted and/or have left out the true and deep metaphysical reasons for all of those things." So the Catholic girl with a penchant for spiritual trends is telling Jews that their religion is somehow watered down and dishonest? I'm just playing devil's advocate here. (I'm not that lame.) Discuss.

No, wait, here's a movie spoiler we should talk about: In the friskily original Adaptation, Nicolas Cage plays two roles—real-life screenwriter Charlie Kaufman and his twin brother, Donald—and though both sibs get screenwriting credit and Charlie tells press people Donald's doing well, I hear there is no Donald. Case—everybody now—"closed."

ONE MORE THING: Last week, I reviewed Beyond the Valley of the Dolls—the '70 Russ Meyer camp film being revived at Film Forum—and gushed about the way Meyer pulled one over on his earnest cast, who supposedly thought the script was deadly serious. But Marcia McBroom—who played goody-goody Petronella Danforth—just called to say they were actually all in on the big, fabulous joke. "Russ told us, 'We’re taking every corny line you’ve ever heard and putting it together,’ " said McBroom, who now teaches history in a New York public high school. "We knew it was a satirical, campy film. The audience didn’t realize it because the studio was presenting it as a sex bomb, but now they see it as what it is." A mess-terpiece!

By the way, McBroom told me she had "the smallest boobs of anyone who ever worked for Russ," but just then, her assistant principal got on the phone to say, "She looks the same as when she made the movie—amazing!"

musto@villagevoice.com

Michael Musto will be appearing on MSNBC's Donahue 11/26 at 8 pm and on NBC's Today Show primetime special on 11/26 at 10pm.