By Albert Samaha
By Steve Weinstein
By Devon Maloney
By Tessa Stuart
By Alison Flowers
By Albert Samaha
By Jesse Jarnow
By Eric Tsetsi
SAGITARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Great news, Sagittarius! The astrological omens suggest that you are now being asked to embody and illustrate a theory advanced by Gabriel García Márquez in his book Love in the Time of Cholera: "Human beings are not born once and for all on the day their mothers give birth to them. . . . Life obliges them over and over to give birth to themselves." This is one of those moments, my dear miracle-maker, when you possess the power to reincarnate without having to endure the inconvenience of dying.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): A higher, smarter form of love is calling you from the not-so-distant horizon. Unfortunately, you're not ready yet to head off in pursuit of it. What exactly is the problem? Your defenses are too strong, my dear. If you want to rendezvous with the sweet stuff, you'll have to become less protected. Fortunately, I believe that 2003 will bring you just the experiences you need to accomplish this. And it all starts now. First step: Take inventory of the subtle fears that have motivated you to develop such strong armor. Consider the possibility that at least some of those fears are based on faulty logic.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Last October I watched a World Series game with two psychotherapists who'd previously had little exposure to baseball. At first they were merely entertained and grossed out by the fact that virtually every player spit constantly. But as the camera's telescopic lens focused over and over on tight shots of saliva spraying from lips, the shrinks' attitude turned clinical. "These million-dollar athletes are suffering from a collective version of obsessive-compulsive disorder," they concluded. I had to agree. But to be fair to the baseball players, I also noted that everyclose-knit assemblage of humans has some analogous pathology, and it's often unconscious. What's your group's version, Aquarius? It's an ideal time, astrologically speaking, to question whether it's amusing and tolerable, or whether, on the other hand, it tends to undermine your goals.
The Televisionary Oracle
A Novel by Rob Brezsny
A lusty but sensitive rock star encounters the leader of a goddess - worshiping religious order that values pranks as much as prayers.
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Want to know more about Rob, or look up past horoscopes? Visit freewillastrology.com.
You can contact Rob at email@example.com.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): It's my pleasure to inform you that the astrological moment is perfect for you to wish upon a star. It's my nervous duty, however, to make sure that you choose the right star. A small miscalculation in the heavenly sphere can translate into a huge error down here on earth. Likewise, I must urge you to use surgical precision in formulating your wish. Even a tiny misstatement of your longing could result in you fulfilling the wrong dream. Sorry to be so complicated, Pisces. You'd think it would be child's play to know exactly what you want and ask the right deity to bless it. But it's not; few of us ever accomplish this magic. Fortunately, you've never been in a better position to pull it off.
Homework: What would it mean for you to learn the difference between stupid suffering and wise suffering? Testify at www.freewillastrology.com.