By Jared Chausow
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SAGITARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): My acquaintance Alan was telling me about the journey he's planning. Along with his wife, two-year-old daughter, and six-month-old son, he'll fly to Turkey, where they'll launch a 20-month bicycle trip around Asia and Europe. As a father myself, I was stunned. "How are you going to handle the diapers?!" I marveled in disbelief. "We'll work it out somehow," Alan said without a trace of anxiety. Since I don't know him well, I was unsure whether to pity him for his naïveté or admire him for his easygoing audacity. I bring this up, Sagittarius, because I think it's likely that in the coming months you'll have a comparable version of Alan's great adventure. While I'm worried you won't plan very well about how to handle details like dirty diapers on a bicycle tour, maybe your easygoing audacity will make my concerns irrelevant.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Time travel will be one of the top metaphors of the year for you in 2003. That's not to say you'll be chosen as a subject in an experiment involving a time machinethough you may sometimes feel as if you've actually been transported into the past or future. The potential downside to this is that you might get confused about where you are in your long-term cycle. A psychic version of jet lag could periodically creep in. The upside is that you will have an unprecedented chance to weave together previously disparate threads of your life. Past events that have never quite made sense will acquire new meaning; future dreams that have been too vague to pursue will finally come into focus.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): I believe you should throw far more water balloons than usual in 2003. It would also be smart of you to enjoy pillow fights and spitting contests more frequently. Furthermore, I feel that in the coming months you should start more good-natured arguments and seek out more entertaining conflicts. My analysis of the astrological omens suggests, in fact, that you will derive great benefit from skirmishing with opposing forces as long as you maintain a spirit of fun and adventure.
The Televisionary Oracle
A Novel by Rob Brezsny
A lusty but sensitive rock star encounters the leader of a goddess - worshiping religious order that values pranks as much as prayers.
Check out Rob's band World Entertainment War.
Want to know more about Rob, or look up past horoscopes? Visit freewillastrology.com.
You can contact Rob at firstname.lastname@example.org.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): In our previews of the future, we astrologers are accurate and helpful at least as often as weather forecasters, economists who predict the financial future, and lifestyle trend consultants. And like those other types of prognosticators, we astrologers are sometimes wrong or misleading; our advice should not be regarded as the word of God. Please keep this clearly in mind as you read my horoscopes in 2003. All the cosmic omens suggest it will be crucial for you to become far more discriminating. Supercharge your analytical powers as you question every authority, expert, teacher, leader, and guru.
Homework: Send me predictions about your own life in 2003. Write: www.freewillastrology.com.