By Jared Chausow
By Katie Toth
By Elizabeth Flock
By Albert Samaha
By Anna Merlan
By Jon Campbell
By Jon Campbell
By Albert Samaha
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): You and I are equals. Though I may sometimes have the power to provide you with guidance and amusement, you have skills that are beyond my ability, and you know mysteries I can't fathom. Let this thought be the hub for more extensive meditations in the coming days, Taurus. It's time for you to democratize your world down to the roots. Regard everyoneme, your boss, the president, the homeless guy in front of the post office, J.Loas no better and no worse than you, no higher and no lower. Each of us is potentially your teacher and your student, a dazed and amazed seeker in a mysterious world whose mix of wonders and terrors is impossible to master.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): My old friend John liked to joke that he lived "in tent city." It was his way of bragging about how he loved to steep himself in a level of intensity that would make most people's eyes bug out. I bring this up, Gemini, because I suspect you'll be staying "in tent city" for a few days. Since you'll only be visiting, not moving in, your time there should be more exciting than exhausting. Here are tips for getting the most out of your trip: (1) Do what you fear at least twice. (2) Set in motion plans to seize back any rights that have been stolen from you. (3) Resuscitate an ailing dream as if your life depended on it. (Your life doesn't really depend on it, but the "as if" experiment will supercharge your courage at just the right time.)
The Televisionary Oracle
A Novel by Rob Brezsny
A lusty but sensitive rock star encounters the leader of a goddess - worshiping religious order that values pranks as much as prayers.
Check out Rob's band World Entertainment War.
Want to know more about Rob, or look up past horoscopes? Visit freewillastrology.com.
You can contact Rob at firstname.lastname@example.org.
CANCER (June 21-July 22):You know how sometimes you get a dramatic demonstration of telepathy or precognition, but it's utterly trivial? For instance, on the same night a few years ago my brother and I both had a dream of Frank Sinatra eating onion soup in a snake pit. Interesting, but so what? You, on the other hand, are about to experience a more interesting version of this phenomenon. Your latent psychic powers will become available for you to use in practical ways. For instance, you'll be able to read the minds of very important people and gather crucial previews of the future. Oh, there is one condition: For best results, you must vow to use any information you gather only for good works that benefit everyone.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): In the history of your relationship with togetherness, you've maybe never experienced a stretch as demanding as the one that's about to begin. The stakes will be high and the challenges daunting; and yet if you bravely venture to question everything you thought was true about love, you will break through into a radical new level of intimacy that is deep and playful beyond anything you've imagined.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In the video for her song "I'm Gonna Getcha Good," Virgo singer Shania Twain portrays a flying robot chased by the devil. The powers-that-be at MTV were so impressed that they awarded it "Most Demented Video by a Country Artist" for 2002. I hope that in the coming weeks the rest of you Virgos will unleash your imagination with the same fervor that Twain summoned. Not only is there no need for you to stick to humdrum traditions; your best chance at being happy and fulfilled between now and February 15 is if you think way, way outside the box.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): I predict that some night this week you will dream of a secret garden. From a distance, you'll spy it below you as you're walking alone in a hilly wilderness. As you approach, you'll be filled with dazzled thoughts like "Wow! That's exactly how I'd create a secret garden if I ever had the chance! It's got everything I love!" When you finally arrive at the gate to the garden, you'll find it bears a sign with your name on it, and when you slip your hand in your pocket you'll find a golden key that fits the gate's lock perfectly. As you stride in, you'll realize this is in fact your very own secret garden: You created it long ago, but forgot about it until now.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): All roads would lead to you if you'd only sit still long enough. Gifts would come pouring in if your potential benefactors weren't in the dark about where you're at. Keep up this faithless lurching around, Scorpio, and fate will conspire to trip you up and pin you down wherever you happen to fall. Don't let that happen! Drop everything that's contributing to your agitated distraction so that you can tune in to your poor, neglected homing signal. I swear you will find instant relaxation the moment you surrender to the obvious.