Bright Lights, Fake Titties

Searching for the Porn Awards' Real Winners in Silicone Valley

At noon the next (and final) day, I was sitting with superstar Jenna Jameson, grogginess giving way to panic as my trusty tape recorder refused to function (stupid pause button). Jenna, wearing a "Vivid" nameplate necklace and Manolo Blahnik boots, claimed, quite convincingly, that "furthering the business" and benefiting younger starlets by breaking porn into the mainstream means more to her than personal success. And anyway, she wants to "have babies." (What a coincidence, me too! Ha ha ha!) The awards gala, held that night, was predictably anticlimactic. Hosted by comedian Doug Stanhope ("Tennessee is so behind the times, you can't even get AIDS there!") and dopey but likable porn star Chloe ("I'm going to do all the guys in the band. If they're not married!"), and featuring performances by Mötley Crüe loser Vince Neil and motley rap-rockers Crazy Town, the show's highlights included Sydnee Steele (Best Supporting Actress, Video) predicting a "great '93"; Jenna Haze—think Aurora Snow gone bad—bursting into tears and thanking "Pooks" after winning Best New Starlet; smooooth-rough Italian Rocco Siffredi coolly offering grazie for his Best Male Foreign Performer award; dirty, dirty girl Belladonna (Best Supporting Actress, Film; Oral; Tease; and All-Girl Sex Scene)—Angelo's favorite—shouting "Sucking dick rocks!"; assorted exposed breasts; and a lingerie-clad Tera Patrick belly-dancing to Crazy Town. I caught Aurora and her porn star boyfriend on the way out, and offered my fan-boy congratulations. As she turned to face the crowd lining the hallway, everyone erupted in applause. Whether anyone heard it outside of the Valley did not matter.


Aurora's areolas: Ms. Snow, female performer of the year
photo: Courtesy Blue Horizon Media
Aurora's areolas: Ms. Snow, female performer of the year

jmaldoro@villagevoice.com

« Previous Page
 |
 
1
 
2
 
All
 
My Voice Nation Help
0 comments
 
Loading...