By Albert Samaha
By Steve Weinstein
By Devon Maloney
By Tessa Stuart
By Alison Flowers
By Albert Samaha
By Jesse Jarnow
By Eric Tsetsi
SAGITARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Want to achieve righteous attunement with cosmic forces? Then cast a love spell on yourself. To assist you, I offer Marge Piercy's poem, "The Real Hearth." Read it aloud three times and you'll uncoil a surge of sweet magic from your mysterious depths. "Let's heat up the night to a boil. Let's cook every drop of liquid out of our flesh till we sizzle, not a drop of come left. We are pots on too high a flame. Our insides char and flake dark like sinister snow idling down. We breathe out smoke. We die out and sleep covers us in ashes. We lie without dreaming, empty as clean grates. Yet we wake rebuilt, clattering and hungry as waterfalls leaping off, rushing into the day, roaring our bright intentions. It is the old riddle in the Yiddish song, what can burn and not burn up, a passion that gives birth to itself every day."
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Of the many devotional and reverent acts you should carry out in the coming week, here are a few I hope you make a priority. Ask an imaginative soul friend to work together with you in dreaming up fresh new pleasures. Brainstorm wildly about how you can feel good in ways you've never imagined before. Do research on the reports that other pioneers of delight have left behind. Open your minds as wide as your hearts as you experiment with the holy art of play.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Of the many brazen and comical acts of love you could possibly carry out this week, here's one you should strongly consider. Memorize the following lines, which were lifted from Bridgeand Bella's Web site at www.members.tripod.com/~perfectcouple/, and speak them dramatically to a cute rascalpreferably one whose destiny needs to be woven more closely together with yours. "I love you more than Madonna loves column inches. I love you more than Bill Gates loves loopholes in anti-trust law. I love you more than Jerry Springer loves trailer-park residents with bizarre stories and pugilistic attitudes. I love you more than Bob Hope loves not being dead. I love you more than Barbara Hershey loves collagen. I love you more than Alan Greenspan loves how the economy fluctuates whenever he scratches his butt."
The Televisionary Oracle
A Novel by Rob Brezsny
A lusty but sensitive rock star encounters the leader of a goddess - worshiping religious order that values pranks as much as prayers.
Check out Rob's band World Entertainment War.
Want to know more about Rob, or look up past horoscopes? Visit freewillastrology.com.
You can contact Rob at email@example.com.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20):The first part of this week's meditation comes from Irish poet William Butler Yeats: "Love is the crooked thing,/There is nobody wise enough/To find out all that is in it,/For he would be thinking of love/Till the stars had run away/And the shadows eaten the moon." Now here's the second half of your meditation, courtesy of me: Though love is the crooked thing and no one's wise to find out all that's in it, you're temporarily wise enough to figure out maybe 70 percent of it. And that's why you have cosmic permission and poetic license to meditate on the arts of love as if you had all the time in the world to do nothing but that.
Obeying the advice I'm giving my own sign, Cancer, I urge you to send me love letters and crafty poems. Write P.O. Box 150628, San Rafael, CA 94915 or firstname.lastname@example.org.