By Jared Chausow
By Katie Toth
By Elizabeth Flock
By Albert Samaha
By Anna Merlan
By Jon Campbell
By Jon Campbell
By Albert Samaha
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Writer Michael Tortorello has complained about the "national delight deficit." My friend Lanny bemoans the public's shrinking attention span for stories about joyful events and satisfying breakthroughs. I myself have marveled at the pathological tendency of many educated people to equate cynicism with intelligence. It's in the context of this stupefying collective addiction to dank moods that I give you your assignment, Scorpio: You, more than any other sign of the zodiac, are now primed to harvest an abundance of pleasure, mirth, and fun. Please don't keep it all to yourself; try to infect everyone you meet.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Ocean floors are not flat and level. In some places, underwater mountains rise to tremendous heights. Hawaii's Mauna Kea is taller than Mount Everest, for instance, though only its uppermost part pokes above the sea's surface. Other submarine peaks, like the recently mapped Atlantis Massif in the Atlantic Ocean, are completely hidden beneath the waves. Let these be your metaphors of power in the coming weeks, Sagittarius. You'll soon discover and explore your own mysterious equivalent of underwater mountains.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): If you're a Capricorn journalist, this is the week you could get a Pulitzer Prize-winning scoop from a drunken slaughterhouse worker about a likely E. coli outbreak. If you're a Capricorn parent, you'll have a lightning bolt of insight into the destiny of your child, forever changing the way you guide him or her. If you're a Capricorn songwriter, I bet you'll channel a melody or lyrics that will become one of your signature songs. And if you're any other kind of Capricorn, you'll be the beneficiary of a rich revelation that will be as valuable to you as a huge windfall.
The Televisionary Oracle
A Novel by Rob Brezsny
A lusty but sensitive rock star encounters the leader of a goddess - worshiping religious order that values pranks as much as prayers.
Check out Rob's band World Entertainment War.
Want to know more about Rob, or look up past horoscopes? Visit freewillastrology.com.
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AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18):"Id" is a psychoanalytic term. It refers to the part of your mind that harbors your instinctual needs and drives. On the one hand, your id is the source of tremendous amounts of psychic energy. On the other hand, it's almost totally unconscious. Think about it, Aquarius: The primal, dynamic core of your life force is mostly invisible and unknown to you. For most people, this is a good thing. It would be painful and scary to be fully aware of the id. In the coming week, however, you will benefit from being in conscious contact with this high-voltage potential. I suggest you begin immediately. Mindful that your id is like a smart but wild animal, invite it to show itself.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Astrology asserts that we humans are puppets of cosmic forces that are beyond our power to affect, right? Wrong. In fact, the opposite is the case: Studying the nature of archetypal energies helps us direct them in constructive ways. In her book, Making the Gods Work for You, astrologer Caroline Casey articulates this view, suggesting that with enough ingenuity we can actually get divine powers to be our collaborators. Here's another way to say it: Ask not what your planets are doing to you, but what you can do with your planets. I bring this up, Pisces, because you've never been in a better position to persuade the cosmic forces to serve your free will.
What's the single most important question you'd like to resolve before you die many years hence? Write: firstname.lastname@example.org.