French Kiss

A Pro-Weasel Shopping Survey

illustration: Yuko Shimizu

Unfortunately, the three people on staff conform to the very worst stereotypes, snarling and snapping at a meek reporter who asks them, in the nicest possible way, if they've had any negative experiences since the weasel business began. "We don't have time to answer surveys, we have a business to run," a young man barks. When asked if it would be OK to jot down, say, the price of an Eiffel Tower crystal clock or a tricolor key chain, his co-worker, a termagant who doesn't look up from whatever she's reading, growls, "You're not allowed to write down any information from books!" Under these circumstances, it is hard to work up much appetite for the merchandise, which is a shame, since, along with an unparalleled book collection, there are items like French magnetic poetry kits ($24.95) and Petit Prince book bags ($69.95) you don't see just anywhere. On the other hand, the shop does stock a tome that might come in handy if you're in the mood to take on the sales help, and you could also use it if you find yourself at a street demonstration on the Champs Elysées and want to come up with a really creative anti-Bush sign: It's by someone called Geneviève, and it's called Merde: The Real French You Were Never Taught at School.

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