By Albert Samaha
By Steve Weinstein
By Devon Maloney
By Tessa Stuart
By Alison Flowers
By Albert Samaha
By Jesse Jarnow
By Eric Tsetsi
The entire audience is in diaperseven the kidsfor A Year With Frog and Toad, the musical about two male amphibians who'll love each other till they croak, as it were. I left covered in fake snow and bruises from hyperactive children, but I still cottoned to the gentle show, warts and all.
Moving onmore seriouslyto the reptile world: The spin from the government and/or the press that's driven us through this war while quelling dissent has been so stellar it deserves a supermarket staging. Saddam was involved in 9-11, then maybe he wasn't, then who cared? We wanted the UN approval, then we couldn't get it, then "Who needed it anyway?" Countries who didn't want to join us in violence were good-for-nothing "weasels." (But weasels are carnivores; they love bloodshed.) Celebrities who used the privilege of our democracy to criticize aggression were "anti-American." The first massive anti-war rally was a medium-sized gathering highlighted by a protester who punched a horse. (Better than punching a weasel.) And the humongous anti-war march hardly got covered at all, except for the confrontational aftermath.
Furthermore: Saddam was probably dead on day one, then maybe he wasn't, then it didn't matter, then probably he was. And though we went in mainly to prevent him from getting us with weapons of mass destruction, the war primarily became a noble act to "liberate Iraq." It's enough to make you wanna go bomb somebody for peace. (But I'll give this to Dubya: He made things happen quickly to the point where his war can definitely be perceived as some kind of triumph. Ding dong, Saddam is overand if we can believe the rejoicing they keep showing of those Iraqis who are still alive, maybe we should just shut up. Nah, fuck it.)
Speaking of quelling dissent, downtown darling Linda Simpson was arrested last week with a peace-and-glamour-loving, Beige-style group called the GLAMericans at the protest against the Carlyle Group for allegedly profiting from the war. Linda says she spent an unlucky 13 hours in a paddy wagon and jail in full drag, having been busted for civil disobedience and obstructing pedestrian traffic. "But it was the police that were blocking any kind of traffic," she notes. "I'll be pleading innocent, thank you!" As for me, I'll just be pleading.