War Horny

Victory is the Ultimate Viagra

That's always been true for men. Every military victory spawns a new male look. We owe the crew cut to World War II, and this time it's microfibermania. The current Men's Journal tells its young readers how to arrange these fabrics in seven formidable layers, just like the troops. This style requires a clean-cut mien, so watch for playa 'tude to lose its currency at the mall. The soldier-stud doesn't bash women; he liberates them. And he doesn't take offense if they dabble in khaki. Babes in battle gear are a fitting tribute to the women who fought on the front lines.

The image of the fighting female is being presented as a victory for feminism. It might be, if women were allowed to command men in combat, but that doesn't even happen at brokerage houses. So what does it mean when girls gear up in camo? One possibility: They may not be in charge, but they do have access to the phallus (and I'm not talking about blowjobs). What if the phallus isn't a penis? There's a French theory about this, so feel free to boycott it. But what if the phallus is a force that impinges on space—and other people? Anyone can possess that sort of dick, and once you do you're fully equipped to get a T-rush.

Now the eagle soars for everyone, his wings immense, his beak erect. Horny days are here again, for better or worse.


Research assistance: F. Timothy Martin

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