By Jared Chausow
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By Elizabeth Flock
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By Jon Campbell
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TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Esquire magazine quoted a renowned astronomer's surprising idea about the origin of the cosmos. "The big bang is so preposterous," said Allan Sandage, "and the chain of events it set off so unlikely, that it makes most sense when thought of as a 'miracle.' " For the sake of argument, Taurus, let's assume Sandage is right. If the beginning of the universe itself was a miracle, then everything in it is impregnated with the possibility of smaller but equally marvelous miracles. All of which is apropos for your life in the coming week. I believe you're now primed to birth an amazing feat that your rational mind might find hard to believe.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): The task you have ahead of you, Gemini, has a resemblance towell, wait a minute; before I go on, I should warn you that the following reference is rather graphic. Proceed only if you're not easily offended and have a supple sense of humor. Anyway, as I was saying, the task ahead of you has a resemblance to carrying out the artificial insemination of a rhinoceros. "But it's impossible to artificially inseminate a rhino!" you may be saying. Well, no, it's not. In fact, with the help of a tool invented by scientists, zookeepers all over the world are regularly doing it nowadays. Likewise, you have a new metaphorical tool that will make it feasiblenot easy, but feasibleto do the metaphorical equivalent.
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CANCER (June 21-July 22): In the weeks leading up to the Academy Awards ceremony, Oscar nominees are called on to talk about themselves endlessly. Because of the nonstop parties they attend, they must cultivate a tolerance for extreme levels of interesting fun. Maybe most challenging of all, they've got to flaunt their stylish charisma with almost superhuman intensity. In the three weeks before the big night this year, for instance, actress Renée Zellweger wore 40 different dresses. And what does this have to do with you? Although you normally have little in common with film stars, that should change in the coming days. You have astrological license to talk about yourself far more than usual, experience a high degree of fascinating fun, and array yourself in a variety of vivacious clothes.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Many scholars believe the original Garden of Eden was where Iraq stands today. Though remnants of that ancient paradise survived into modern times, many were obliterated recently. One of my spies who lives near the confluence of the Tigris and Euphrates rivers has kept me posted on the fate of the most famous remnant: the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. Until a few weeks ago, it was a gnarled stump near Nasiriyah, but today a crater is all that remains. This can serve as an evocative symbol for you as you tackle your big assignment for the rest of 2003, Leo: Completely demolish your old ideas about paradise so that you can conjure a fresh new vision of it.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): One of my early astrology teachers, Isabel Hickey, had a favorite saying: "Before you can give yourself away, you have to have a self to give." This should be your seed meditation for the foreseeable future, Virgo. I am not implying that you don't have a self. But you do have a lot of work to do to define and strengthen your sense of who you are. In the coming weeks, I'd love you to visualize a flame in your heart growing steadily bigger and brighter and hotter.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22):Do you believe there is such a thing as the human soul? If not, you should stop reading right now; I'll talk with you again next week. But if you do believe, how would you define it? More importantly, what does your own soul feel like? I suggest that in the coming week you make frequent attempts to tune in to that elusive essence. Use all your ingenuity and persistence as you try to create a stronger bridge between your everyday awareness and your heart source, your seed code, your eternal song.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In my astrological opinion, it's a perfect time to introduce more experimentation into your most promising relationship. To stimulate your imagination, here are a few ideas you and your companion might want to try together. (1) Go outside just after midnight, wail five loud cock-a-doodle-doos, then run back inside before you're caught. (2) Describe to your friend or partner a detailed vision of his or her best possible future. Ask for the same treatment in return. (3) Borrow the approach of the religions that have rituals of eating their gods. Buy a pastry that makes your mouths water, perform a ceremony in which you invite a divine spirit to enter into it, then slowly devour it while gazing into each other's eyes.