By Steve Weinstein
By Devon Maloney
By Tessa Stuart
By Alison Flowers
By Albert Samaha
By Jesse Jarnow
By Eric Tsetsi
By Raillan Brooks
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): A month ago my Sagittarian friend adorned her car with her first ever bumper sticker, "Give Yourself to Love." While proud of announcing her compassionate philosophy to the world, she was also nervous. Hadn't she raised the pressure on herself to live up to her noble ideals? A week later, she snapped. A guy gabbing on a cell phone in an SUV cut her off in traffic, and road rage moved her to give him a middle-finger salute. The next day she added a new bumper sticker to the left of the first: "Get In, Sit Down, Shut Up, Hold On." When I asked her about the contradiction, she confessed, "I've just accepted that I've got a split personality." Today brought a further development. She pasted the word and in the space between the two stickers, to create a new thought: "Get In, Sit Down, Shut Up, Hold On, and Give Yourself to Love." She called to tell me the good news: "I'm whole again!"
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Are other people luckier than you? If so, you can do something about it, according to psychologist Richard Wiseman. His book, The Luck Factor, presents research that proves you can learn to be lucky. It's not a mystical force you're born with, in other words, but a habit you can develop. How? For starters, be open to new experiences, trust your gut wisdom, expect good fortune, see the bright side of challenging events, and master the art of maximizing serendipitous opportunities. I mention this, Capricorn, because you're now in a phase when you can make tremendous progress in enhancing your capacity to attract luck.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): This may sound strange and improbable, but my inside sources swear it's true: If you'd like to stay out of hot water, metaphorically speaking, you should literally immerse yourself in hot water more than usual in the coming week. In other words, you can stir up a protective, benevolent magic by taking a lot of long baths, soaking in hot tubs, and playing around in warm swimming pools. And if there's any way you can get away to a hot spring for a day or two, you'll virtually ensure that trouble won't be able to find you.
The Televisionary Oracle
A Novel by Rob Brezsny
A lusty but sensitive rock star encounters the leader of a goddess - worshiping religious order that values pranks as much as prayers.
Check out Rob's band World Entertainment War.
Want to know more about Rob, or look up past horoscopes? Visit freewillastrology.com.
You can contact Rob at email@example.com.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): On certain occasions, I encourage you to sacrifice your own needs for the sake of others', or try to heal their wounds before you attend to your own. But this is not one of those times. It wouldn't be in alignment with the cosmic mojo. What, then, would be the most righteous course of action? Here's what I think: Rouse your most imaginative brilliance as you dream up ways to be really good to yourself. Shower yourself with gifts, treats, and blessings. Take all that tender loving care you're so skilled at administering to others, and bestow it on yourself.
Tell how America's invasion of Iraq made you a better person. Write: beautyandtruth.com