By Steve Weinstein
By Devon Maloney
By Tessa Stuart
By Alison Flowers
By Albert Samaha
By Jesse Jarnow
By Eric Tsetsi
By Raillan Brooks
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Many of you Sagittarians have a tortured relationship with discipline. You know you need it if you hope to fill your life with epic adventure. But you sometimes resist planning ahead and marshaling your resources, feeling that would interfere with having more immediate, short-term fun. Trouble is, though, when you avoid planning and marshalling, the short-term fun you get caught up in is often trivial and unsatisfying. That's the bad news. Here's the good news: You're in a phase when you can make a dramatic shift in your relationship to discipline, rendering most of what I just said irrelevant.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Suggested reading list for the coming weeks: (1) Dealing With People You Can't Stand: How to Bring Out the Best in People at Their Worst, by Rick Brinkman and Rick Kirschner. (2) Never Be Lied to Again, by David Lieberman. (3) Cut the Clutter and Stow the Stuff, by Lori Baird. (4) Everything You Know Is Wrong, by Russ Kick. (5) You're a Geniusand I Can Prove It!, by Kimberly Kassner. (6) Journal entries or notes you wrote to yourself between March and May 2001.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): You're entering puberty again! Congrats! It'll be on a higher octave than last time, so you'll have more savvy to deal with the hormonal rush. To facilitate this unpredictable foray into serious goofiness, I'm happy to present you with the wisdom of sixth-grade girls, gleaned from sayings they've scrawled on their backpacks and binders. Enjoy. Understand the groove. Learn as if you'll live forever. Explain yourself wildly, not carefully. Wake upbut not too fast, or you might hurt yourself. Question authority, including the authority that told you to question authority. It's all so funnyhow can you not be laughing? When you shout "halaluya," never spell it right. Live the freakiest truth. Give me chocolate or I'll scream.
The Televisionary Oracle
A Novel by Rob Brezsny
A lusty but sensitive rock star encounters the leader of a goddess - worshiping religious order that values pranks as much as prayers.
Check out Rob's band World Entertainment War.
Want to know more about Rob, or look up past horoscopes? Visit freewillastrology.com.
You can contact Rob at email@example.com.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): A German woman who recently died bequeathed her nephew $275,000. Trouble is, he's a homeless man who wanders around a lot. Executors of the woman's will have not yet been able to locate him. This resembles a situation in your own life, Pisces. Even now, a rich source of blessings is trying to track you down and attract your attention. So far you've been oblivious. Let's hope you wake up to the presence of the gift very soon.
Homework: Make a list of your five top pleasures, then go out and find a brand-new one to be number six. Testify at beautyandtruth.com