By Albert Samaha
By Steve Weinstein
By Devon Maloney
By Tessa Stuart
By Alison Flowers
By Albert Samaha
By Jesse Jarnow
By Eric Tsetsi
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): In A.D. 752, the Japanese empress Koken wrote a lyrical poem in praise of the eupatorium plant, whose leaves turn a vivid shade of yellow in summer. Recently, scientists punctured the illusion she was under, demonstrating that the lovely foliage of the eupatorium is caused by a virus. In my view, though, this shouldn't diminish our appreciation of either the poem or the plant. I've noticed that a lot of the world's beauty forms in response to a wound. In fact, I expect you're in the midst of that very process right now.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Our planet is running out of many essential resources, including fresh water and oil. Now the Weekly World News has reported a shortage in the global supply of supermodels. "The original generation of supermodels is fading," the paper says, "and very few new ones are coming along to replace them. Soon the supermodel as we know it may become extinct." Can anything be done to avert this catastrophe in the making? I'm not sure. But I do know that many of you Aquarians are exceptionally attractive right now, and likely to become even more so. Might you therefore consider launching a career as a supermodel? Look for ways to use your growing beauty to help save the world.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): A century ago, the Hawaiian sugarcane industry required a ton of water to produce a pound of sugar. Since then, improvements in irrigation techniques have drastically reduced the excess. The ratio of water to sugar is now 1:1. Similarly, it used to take me about 2,000 words of exploratory freewriting to arrive at a single 120-word horoscope. Now I typically have to churn out no more than 400 words in the process of distilling your weekly oracle. In yet another related development, Pisces, I predict you'll soon make a comparable move toward less waste and greater efficiency in your own area of expertise.
The Televisionary Oracle
A Novel by Rob Brezsny
A lusty but sensitive rock star encounters the leader of a goddess - worshiping religious order that values pranks as much as prayers.
Check out Rob's band World Entertainment War.
Want to know more about Rob, or look up past horoscopes? Visit freewillastrology.com.
You can contact Rob at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Homework: There's a place you need to go, but your fear is holding you back. Where is it? Testify at beautyandtruth.com