NY Mirror

I sidled my hot ass to the Roxy's NEMO event to benefit the Lymphoma Research Foundation, where scene presence Sophia LaMarr modeled a robe that was up for auction, then dropped it to reveal a way more shapely figure than all the above-mentioned icons'. "I'm so glad my body could benefit a serious cause," Sophia beamed afterwards.

While we're on body parts, the guy from Smallville looks like he must be bigville, know what I'm sayin'? Johnny's got a yo-yo all right. On a similar note, BJ is a free upcoming magazine "catering to the high and rich lifestyles of gay men." You know, rich gay men who are high. In any case, I love the title. So suggestive, don't you think? No, really, think about it. BJ—how witty can you get?

Meanwhile, it pays to go down—whoo!—and pick up the existing free gay weeklies. Gay City News recently attacked Hillary Clinton for her "stony silence" regarding Rick Santorum's homophobic remarks, and that prompted Hill to pipe up, writing the paper that she's not afraid to speak out against "disgraceful and divisive" comments like Santorum's. Yay! I'm glad I also checked out Advocate.com, where a writer revealed that at the big American Idol press conference, he said to runner-up Clay Aiken, "A lot of your fan base thinks you're gay. Any comment on that?" The cutely femmy Clay glazed over, said nothing, and moved on to another reporter. Come on, sing out, Louise!

Proving Times Square is still a sleaze pit: The happy winner of Madame Tussaud's J. Lo contest cops a virtual feel.
photo: Miles Ladin
Proving Times Square is still a sleaze pit: The happy winner of Madame Tussaud's J. Lo contest cops a virtual feel.

(Relevant sidebar: A Gypsy performance last week had poor Bernadette Peters woozy and coughing and Tammy Blanchard out sick, afraid to go near the star and further infect her. At intermission, all the queens were on their cell phones saying, "They're putting the gyp back in Gypsy.")

Anyway, murderers are gay—or at least gay-ish—in Gus Van Sant's Cannes winner Elephant, based on the Columbine murders. I hear the two lead guys kiss in the shower before grabbing their guns—but Van Sant told the press that doesn't aim to show that homosexuality is part of their pathology, it's just a kiss. Now where's my rifle?

By the way, it makes sense that Larry Wachowski is in drag and doing it with a dominatrix. He made the lesbian s/m romp Bound! I'd toast them, but to quote Martha Stewart, did I not ask for merlot?


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