By Alex Distefano
By Scott Snowden
By Anna Merlan
By Steve Almond
By Jena Ardell
By Jon Campbell
By Alan Scherstuhl
By Tessa Stuart
ARIES (March 21-April 19): "People demand freedom of speech," said philosopher Soren Kierkegaard, "as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they never use." I hope this smart-ass witticism agitates and prods you to wonder whether maybe you sometimes let your mouth race ahead of your brain; whether you're not as free from conventional wisdom as you imagine. Your energetic courage has propelled you halfway up the mountain; to get to the top you'll have to become more skilled at questioning your own assumptions.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Visualize your greatest fear. How much of it is based on a possibility that the dreaded experience could actually happen? What part of your foreboding, on the other hand, is fueled by your active imagination, your habitual propensity to worry, and the pervasive angst the media has infected you with? Once you've meditated on those questions, Taurus, try these prescriptions: In the next 24 hours, take one step to reduce the level of anxiety you've accepted as normal. Take another step to diminish the power of your greatest fear. The astrological omens say you'll receive unexpected help if you do these things.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): You're a force of nature barely contained in your clothes, Gemini. You're elemental and irresistible; primordial yet playful. You're laughing like a river, dreaming like a volcano, and as surprising as a snowstorm on a summer day. You can talk the way the animals think. You remind me of a waterfall exuding fireworks. How could anyone not be drawn to you? How could anyone not feel a bit nervous while drinking in your unpredictable charisma? You're way over the top, and I like it very much.
The Televisionary Oracle
A Novel by Rob Brezsny
A lusty but sensitive rock star encounters the leader of a goddess - worshiping religious order that values pranks as much as prayers.
Check out Rob's band World Entertainment War.
Want to know more about Rob, or look up past horoscopes? Visit freewillastrology.com.
You can contact Rob at firstname.lastname@example.org.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): Here's a friendly warning to keep in mind during these last few days of test and trials. It comes courtesy of German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche: "He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." Would you like to avoid the fate he describes, Cancerian? (Say yes! Say yes!) All you have to do is relax with a heroic effort. Release every last ounce of tension and strain. Surrender, slacken, and slow down with a consuming passion for repose. And do not, under any circumstances, try too hard.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): "I have a dream," Martin Luther King Jr. sang during his stirring speech at the Lincoln Memorial in Washington, D.C., on August 28, 1963. "I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: 'We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal.' I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character." To help get yourself into alignment with current astrological influences, Leo, read or listen to King's entire speech in the coming days. Let it inspire you to create your own personal "I have a dream" manifesto. It's high time you fantasized to the hilt about creating heaven on earth.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): If an astrologer from the old school were writing this horoscope, he might tell you that now is an excellent time to advance your ambitions through gossipy manipulation. But since you and I are in the business of creating a new civilization based on values that feed the soul, my take on your imminent future is different. I say it's a perfect moment to engage in uplifting gossip that serves the greater good. I suggest that you praise unsung heroes and name everything that's working well. The irony is that for people like us, dissing people always hurts our ambitions. One of the best ways to enhance our own possibilities is to use our power of speech to promote others' chances for happiness and success.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): When I'm mountain-biking on the ridge, I usually stick to the relatively smooth parts of the dirt trails. Now and then, though, I head straight toward the most jagged bumps and deepest pits. It feels good to test my sense of balance so dramaticallyto have to make countless split-second adjustments as my bike rumbles over the rugged terrain. Far from being a hardship, the sensation is exhilarating. I do it on purpose because it's fun. From my analysis of the astrological omens, Libra, I reckon you're now in a phase comparable to the one I just described. May you enjoy every minute of the wild ride.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Writing in Sky & Telescope magazine, Roy Gallant described how long it took for scientists to consider the evidence for meteorites. Until the 1800s, "the scientific community scoffed at those who believed stones fell from the heavens, though meteorites had been seen to fall and had been collected since ancient times by the Chinese and Egyptians." As stones continued to rain down from the sky, learned scientists explained them away as condensations of the atmosphere or concretions of volcanic dust. Let this be a cautionary tale. There's a certain truth you've been dead set against believing, let alone seeing, even though the evidence for it has been steadily growing. Proof will come pouring in. Don't pretend it's not there.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Do you have a muse? If not, get one as soon as possible. You shouldn't go another week without a mysterious, inspiring creature to drive you wonderfully crazy. If you do have a muse who is doing a fine job in service to your feisty spirit, reward him or her. Throw an exotic party in an unexpected location with vivacious revelers. Buy or make a surprising gift that has a muse-like effect on your muse. There is a third possibility: Maybe you have a muse that lately hasn't been whipping you into the kind of delightful frenzy you need to keep your soul healthy. If that's the case, go off on a retreat together and come up with a new plan.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): In her San Francisco Chronicle column, Leah Garchik reported an amazing fact about an outdoor concert hosted by famed tree-sitter Julia Butterfly Hill. The 10,000 people who attended left behind less than one dumpster's worth of trash, whereas a normal crowd that size would have filled 10 dumpsters. I suggest you begin mastering this approach to waste production, Capricornespecially the psychic version of waste. That way, you will never again have to slog through the massive karmic clean-up you're having to endure right now.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): At a candy store last Easter, I heard a philosophical debate about Jesus-themed confections. "It's just not right to eat a symbol of God," one woman said as she gazed at a chocolate Christ on the cross. A man agreed: "It's sacrilegious. An abomination." An employee overheard and jumped in. "I'll ask my boss to take that stuff off the shelf," she clucked. I was tempted to say what I was thinking: "Hello?! The holiest ritual of Christian worship involves eating Christ's symbolic body and blood." But I held my tongue; I wasn't in the mood for a brouhaha. Now I can speak freely, though. Which is lucky for you, Aquarius, because here's the good news: You're at the peak of your capacity to blend sensual pleasure with spiritual inspiration. A great way to express that would be to feast upon a delicious embodiment of the god or goddess you love best.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Your first image of power comes from "Volcanoes," a poem by Susan Katz: "A man in his glass house, inside the heart of a blizzard, harvests roses." Let it console you, whenever you feel the world around you is hostile or apathetic to the masterpiece that's quickening under your care. Another image comes from poet Emily Dickinson. She said she always knew when she was reading a good poem because it made her feel like the top of her head was about to come off. As you nurture your masterpiece, Pisces, you'll know you're on the right track if now and then you have the sensation she described.