By Steve Weinstein
By Devon Maloney
By Tessa Stuart
By Alison Flowers
By Albert Samaha
By Jesse Jarnow
By Eric Tsetsi
By Raillan Brooks
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): "Humor is emotional chaos remembered in tranquility," said writer James Thurber. If he's right, your immediate future should be full of humor. You have finally wriggled your way out of the holy mess that was numbing your laugh reflex. You have mastered the tumultuous lessons that nearly scrambled your brain. Let the festival of peace and quiet begin! May you enjoy great convulsions of amusement as you joke about your close calls.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Nike will pay high school basketball sensation LeBron James $90 million to endorse its shoes for the next seven years. The company is betting that the young phenom, born December 30, 1984, will live up to his hype when he begins playing with the pros in a few months. It's not unheard of for a Capricorn to ripen into his full potential early on, but what's more common is a long, slow build. Look at you: You're still working to reach maturity in your chosen field. The good news is that once you finally do come of age, you'll stay in bloom long after other people of your generation begin to wither. Here's some more good news: You're in a phase when you can ripen a lot in a short time.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Mark Seltman is a palm reader whose approach to his art is similar to my relationship with astrology. If he sees a character flaw indicated by a line on your palm, he won't make you feel like it's a curse you're powerless to resist; instead, he'll tell you what you can do to fix it or overcome it. An article about him on newyorkmetro.com described how his daughter was born with a hand that suggested she'd suffer from low self-esteem when she grew up. In response, Seltman dedicated himself to building her confidence and competence. Now, years later, the warning sign in her hand at birth has disappeared; she's brimming with aplomb. Let this story inspire you, Aquarius. Tune in to a weakness or foible in your own make-up, and develop a long-term plan to triumph over it.
The Televisionary Oracle
A Novel by Rob Brezsny
A lusty but sensitive rock star encounters the leader of a goddess - worshiping religious order that values pranks as much as prayers.
Check out Rob's band World Entertainment War.
Want to know more about Rob, or look up past horoscopes? Visit freewillastrology.com.
You can contact Rob at firstname.lastname@example.org.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): I was at a meeting of people planning to attend the Burning Man festival this August. During a break, my friend Johann did a demo of the laser light show he plans to unveil there. As dazzling emerald beams of light danced above our heads, someone said, "None of that impressive display would be visible if it weren't for the dust and particles in the air." "Yeah," Johann agreed, "you can't see lasers in a vacuum. They need to have something to reflect off. Flakes of our dead skin are essential to revealing the beauty." This will be your metaphor of power in the coming week, Pisces. I hope it will help you find meaning and blessings in the residues of things that have passed away.
Homework: Tell what you love or appreciate that no one else does. Testify at beautyandtruth.com