NY Mirror

There are limits, of course. I turned down a show called Love Chain:Tom Cruise—I just won't go there. But I gladly did an E! True Hollywood Story about Anna Kournikova, barely knowing what sport she's in; after some astute Web surfing, I was the world's pithiest expert on . . . what was it, tennis? Whenever that one airs, I'll be tangentially, disposably visible for one more lovely hour. People will notice me—as I said before.

Before I'm replaced here by Gloria Allred let me return to my job of columnist—you know, going out and getting other people's soundbites. There was an opening-nightevent for Shakespeare in the Park's big-shticked Henry V, which is so long that by the end, it's Henry VI—though there are innovative flourishes and Liev Schreiber is superb. Anna Wintour had bolted by Act II, furthering the Wintour of our discontent. But at the after-party at Belvedere Castle, Alec Baldwin told me he loved the show, and he also loves that he's off to do a Scorsese flick, The Aviator. But what happened to the movie of The Devil and Daniel Webster that Alec directed and starred in? "Federal prosecutors just indicted two of the investors for fraud," he told me. "My name's off the picture." Don't you hate when that happens?

Indictable for their bad habits, nasty nuns get their comeuppance in The Magdalene Sisters, which is especially fun when aping those old women-in-prison flicks, down to the loony-bin punishment, the hair shaving, and the confrontation with the warden, I mean Mother Superior. At a dinner for the potent film at the Plaza Athenee, Nora-Jane Noone—who yells at the head penguin, "Let go, you fucking twisted bitch!"—turned out to be a sweet young thing who'd just tasted our country's culture at its finest by visiting the Mall of America. But guest Marisa Tomei was still in shock from the movie, moaning, "I'm wrecked!" That was good—short, sweet, and very effective. But she strobed!

Illustration: Matthew Martin
Illustration: Matthew Martin


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