By Alex Distefano
By Scott Snowden
By Anna Merlan
By Steve Almond
By Jena Ardell
By Jon Campbell
By Alan Scherstuhl
By Tessa Stuart
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Frank O'Hara's poem "Meditations in an Emergency" is mostly a meandering, self-indulgent mess, but it contains three lines that should inspire you for weeks. I suggest you regard them as pithy teachings. Here they are. (1) "Each time my heart is broken it makes me feel more adventurous." (2) "I am the least difficult of men. All I want is boundless love." (3) "It is easy to be beautiful; it is difficult to appear so." By the way, Capricorn, O'Hara's poem is a microcosm of your immediate future, when small but valuable treasures will be embedded in heaps of useless nonsense.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Last year Nigerian women launched a new form of protest against the U.S.-owned oil company that wreaked environmental havoc in their country: They threatened to get naked in public. During the invasion of Iraq, several groups of American women, inspired by the Nigerians, registered their dissent through mass nudity. More recently, Mexican farmers stripped to their underpants during a demonstration against their government's policies. From an astrological perspective, it's a perfect time for you Aquarians to further develop this new tradition. Take off your clothes to those you oppose! Or if that's too extreme, try the metaphorical equivalent: Disarm your adversaries not by attacking them but by expressing your vulnerability.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Every Thursday night I roll my trash can to the curb so that the sanitation engineers can pick it up next morning. Usually it's three-quarters full of garbage bags and requires no special treatment. But on some weeks I generate more than my normal share of refuse. To fit it in, I have to become a human trash compactor. I grab a low-slung branch from the persimmon tree, pull myself up, and lower myself down inside the trash can, jumping up and down to compress the load and make room for more. I hope I can serve as an inspiration for you this week, Pisces. By my astrological reckoning, you should gather, compress, and throw away at least six months' worth of outworn junk, including both the psychic and physical varieties.
The Televisionary Oracle
A Novel by Rob Brezsny
A lusty but sensitive rock star encounters the leader of a goddess - worshiping religious order that values pranks as much as prayers.
Check out Rob's band World Entertainment War.
Want to know more about Rob, or look up past horoscopes? Visit freewillastrology.com.
You can contact Rob at firstname.lastname@example.org.