By Steve Weinstein
By Devon Maloney
By Tessa Stuart
By Alison Flowers
By Albert Samaha
By Jesse Jarnow
By Eric Tsetsi
By Raillan Brooks
Even better to begin with an outright erotic fantasy. The new Vogue carries an excerpt from Helmut Newton's forthcoming memoir with the following lead:
"I was three or four years old, lying in my bed in my parents' apartment in Berlin. It was night, it was always nighta lot of my memories are of night. My nurse, my Kinderfraülein, is getting ready to go out, and she is half naked. She has on a slip, and she is sitting in front of the mirror. . . . I know that this was the first time that I had seenthat I remember seeinga half-naked young woman."
Compare the obviously more important, but less enticing first sentence of an excerpt from Madeleine K. Albright's memoirs in the new V.F.:
"Much of what the Clinton administration attempted in its Korea policy has unraveled since I left office, opening scenarios for the future ranging from the restoration of stability to a nuclear-armed Korea, to war."
PS: It's great that magazines are now treating media companies and personalities as fair game for satire. In the fall issue of Black Book, Ron English coins a humorous new slogan for Fox News: "More Jingoism, Less Journalism. Got a problem with that?" And the new Esquireoffers "Yoga for Men," a cartoon by David Jacobson and Mark Matcho in which a bland-faced man performs a series of mock yoga positions.
My favorite: "Badmanagerasana," or "The Howell Raines Pose." Check it out.