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Diversity doesn't always rule these nights out, though. My source at the Gregory Hines tribute at the Apollo says people were pissed that the all-female orchestra on hand was also all white! But brother Maurice Hines dazzled, and diverse couple Nicole Kidman and Lenny Kravitz attended "and were like an old married couple—seemingly bored with each other."

One more pissy pageant, the Emmy Awards, was soured by all the Sopranos spouse-dumpers and homewreckers gushing about how much they respect each other, not to mention Bill Cosby acting so dismissive when Wanda Sykes spewed jokes at him in the audience. Yes, Sykes was hideously unfunny—a shrieking stereotype in the body of a generic beauty-makeover victim—but Bill could have dropped the pompous scowl for just a second and made a Jell-O face. He was certainly beaming later on when he was given a humanitarian award, with Oprah enthusing, "Bill has a really big heart!" Yeah, maybe, but he's taking my soul!

"I don't do nudity!": Parker Posey, dork, punk, and sometime indie queen, strikes a pose.
photo: Richard Mitchell
"I don't do nudity!": Parker Posey, dork, punk, and sometime indie queen, strikes a pose.

Backstage, E!'s Ted Casablanca asked Cosby what he thinks of gay TV and the star mysteriously warned, "Be careful not to serve them up," and added that, with all TV, "you shouldn't play to the lowest common denominator." Casablanca doesn't feel Cosby was being homophobic, though, "juststupid-phobic. He hates stupid TV." (True: Let's not forget that Cosby—who's done such a questionable job as Papa Bear that he had to publicly thank his wife for her "unconditional love"—once railed against the Osbournes as "a sad, sad family. They don't have any family values.") Meanwhile, rad, rad Walter Cronkite was on the planet phobic. Casablanca asked him the same gay-TV question and he replied, "Did you ask what I think of the Today show? I'm sorry. I'm deaf as a post." Shuuut uuuuup!

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