Best and Worst of 2003

The Thinking With Their Bones Award: Radio personalities Opie and Anthony were fired after they encouraged listeners to have sex in public and a couple was caught and arrested for doing just that at St. Patrick's Cathedral.

The "Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow" Award: Sunset Thomas—former porn star and the most high-profile rabbit at Nevada's Bunny Ranch—left the famous brothel for one of its competitors, the Kit Kat Guest Ranch. Thomas cited "philosophical differences" with owner Dennis Hof as the reason for her departure, which conjures images of whores debating Nietzsche in between clients, doesn't it?

The Reverse-Reverse Cowgirl Award (for Crossing Over From Hollywood Into Porn Instead of the Other Way Around): Heiress and media darling Paris Hilton made her amateur-porn debut in a vid of her and ex Rick Solomon that circulated on the Internet. Impressed with her, um, performance, Vivid Video publicly offered her a contract. At press time, she had neither accepted nor declined.

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