By Jared Chausow
By Katie Toth
By Elizabeth Flock
By Albert Samaha
By Anna Merlan
By Jon Campbell
By Jon Campbell
By Albert Samaha
ARIES (March 21-April 19):For too long, grace has eluded you; you have had to fight your way through life. But now your luck is about to turn; your soul will get the refreshment it needs. To celebrate, imagine you're the one speaking in this poem by Theodore Roethke: "Near the rose, in this grove of sun-parched, wind-warped madrones/Among the half-dead trees, I came upon the true ease of myself,/As if another person appeared out of the depths of my being,/And I stood outside myself,/Beyond becoming and perishing. A something wholly other,/As if I swayed out on the wildest wave alive,/And yet was still. And I rejoiced in being what I was."
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): In the first Matrix movie, the central character, Thomas "Neo" Anderson, gradually begins to suspect that his entire understanding of reality is a delusion. At a key moment, a mysterious ally named Morpheus offers him a choice between two pills. If Neo takes the red pill, Morpheus tells him, he will be able to see the truth he has been blind to. If he swallows the blue pill, he will sink comfortably back into the lie he has been living. I see the coming weeks as a comparable turning point for you, Taurus. Which will it be, the red pill or the blue pill?
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): I'll tell you a little cosmic secret, Gemini. One of the best ways to stay on topwhich is where you are now, right?is to keep paying homage to the bottom. So as you harvest your good fortune in the coming weeks, I suggest you express your gratitude for the painful experiences that have taught you how to thrive. While basking in the glow of people's praise and attention, recall the parts of you that are still unripe. When you come home after a day of radiant success, take out the garbage.
The Televisionary Oracle
A Novel by Rob Brezsny
A lusty but sensitive rock star encounters the leader of a goddess - worshiping religious order that values pranks as much as prayers.
Check out Rob's band World Entertainment War.
Want to know more about Rob, or look up past horoscopes? Visit freewillastrology.com.
You can contact Rob at firstname.lastname@example.org.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): Last century, Walt Disney coined a word for the inventive engineers who designed the rides and attractions for Disneyland: imagineers. In anticipation of the creativity I expect will flow through you this week, Cancerian, I'm going to describe you, too, as an imagineer. It's not that I expect you to literally invent a radical new variation on a roller coaster or anything. But there's a good chance you'll come up with brilliant innovations in the way you have fun.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): What's the best way to get yourself in sync with the plans that the Goddess has for you? Follow poet Robert Bly's admonition to "poke holes in your habits." Here are a few suggestions to get you started. Strike up a conversation with a person you'd normally ignore. Write with your non-dominant hand. Try a food you've never tasted. Sprinkle seldom-used words like sublime, curiosity, and reverence into your conversation. Walk backward now and then. Slap a crafty grin on your face and wish for something impossible.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Don't sit there passively, Virgo, hoping that fate will be nice to you. Be aggressive about cultivating good fortune. Drum up and track down the lucky breaks you need. To get you in the mood, I've infused the rest of this horoscope with subliminal suggestions that are scientifically formulated to make you a magnet for favors and synchronicities [Combustion luster verve blaze]. They will set in motion shifts in your inner chemistry that will help other people see how beautiful you are [Luminous flourish lucid mojo]. Soon you'll be tuning in to evidence that life is actually conspiring for you to succeed [Lightning splendor wake-up fuel].
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): I'm always on the lookout for real heroes. Not the celebrities, athletes, and other fake heroes endlessly hyped by the mainstream media, but brave innovators who show courageous flair in standing up for what's right. The good news is that I recently located an actual hero, and he's a Libra. It's Gavin Newsom, mayor of San Francisco, a Rosa Parks-like figure in the crusade to extend a full array of civil liberties to gays. In his calm fight for fairness, in his skillful use of logic to deal with emotionally charged issues, and in his artful approach to breaking an absurd taboo against joy and passion, he has embodied the highest expression of your sign's potentials. I recommend that you imitate his approach in your own sphere during the coming weeks.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In his book America As Empire: Global Leader or Rogue Power?, Jim Garrison says America has changed from being a republic to an imperial empire. If you're liberal, you hate this development, and if you're conservative, you like it; but in any case, the deed is done. The genie won't go back into the bottle. The question now is, how will America wield its global power? Will it be a bully using brute force to serve its narrow economic aims? Or will it be a gracious sovereign, leading a movement to bring democracy and freedom to every corner of the globe? In my view, Scorpio, you're facing a small-scale version of this dilemma in your personal sphere. How will you handle the weighty responsibilities that accompany your increasing clout? Will you mostly indulge your selfish interests, or will you work for the good of all?