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Jersey Snore: J. and Not Silent Enough Ben Strike Out—Again

Ed Park

Tuesday, March 16th 2004

L'affaire Bennifer gets one last airing in Jersey Girl's interminable backstory, told through the eyes of the doomed duo's seven-year-old daughter. Flashback—the mid '90s! High-powered music publicist Ollie (Ben) loses his wife Gertie (Jen) in childbirth and foists Gertie Jr. onto her Jersey-living grandpa (George Carlin) in order to continue his Manhattanite ways. After sabotaging his career by insulting a crowd of journos, he returns to the Garden State, tail between legs. He realizes he has to be a better father, and tells his infant daughter this, in a monologue of instant kitsch so "passionate" that one hears Jon Lovitz's old thespian character proclaiming: "Acting!"

Director and writer Kevin Smith recently joked that as long as Jersey Girl made more than Gigli, it would be considered a success. This may be self-preservation kicking in. Aware of its awfulness, the film edits out most of Ollie's mojo-rejuvenating speech, abandons grad student-video store clerk Liv Tyler's trajectory after throwing her in the shower, and has characters explain transparent motivations, to convince the gullible that the feelings here are real.

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