Michael Powell's Balls

Two months ago the Federal Communications Commission, run by Colin Powell scion Michael Powell, levied $715,000 in fines against Clear Channel Communications for running supposedly indecent material that aired on four Florida radio stations, plus a $40,000 fine for alleged record-keeping violations—all because of a weird morning program called "Bubba the Love Sponge."

But before it could levy the fine, the FCC had to make a careful analysis of what actually was said on the show to see if it met the test of being "patently offensive."

Posted at thememoryhole.org, the FCC report reads: "The first skit begins when Shaggy tells Scooby Doo that he needs crack . . . but has no money to buy it. Scooby Doo responds that Shaggy could 'su(bleep)ck d(bleep)ick' to pay for the drugs. In the next skit, Fat Albert, a/k/a Phat Diddy Daddy, gets killed in a drive-by shooting after bragging that Jennifer Lopez had been 's(bleep)ing Diddy Daddy's (bleep)ck the previous night. . . . ' "

In another segment, reports the FCC, "Bubba and two male co-hosts discuss the abnormally large size of his 'balls,' while a singer and chorus sing about his testicles in explicit and graphic detail. The euphemism, 'balls,' is a common one, generally known to mean testicles, a sexual organ. Descriptions, such as those stating that Bubba's 'balls,' which are the size of 'cantaloupes' or 'coconuts,' are 'firm and meaty' with 'ingrown hairs,' are sufficiently graphic to meet the first contextual criteria."

In his opinion, Michael Powell proudly notes that his commission has the "strongest enforcement record in decades."

Additional reporting: Ashley Glacel and Alicia Ng