By Jena Ardell
By Jon Campbell
By Alan Scherstuhl
By Tessa Stuart
By Roy Edroso
By Jon Campbell
By Albert Samaha
By Zachary D. Roberts
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): What kind of archer do you want to be when you grow up, Sagittarius? Would you like to be (1) the kind of archer who aims in the general direction of several big targets in the distance; (2) the kind who aims at a single, medium-sized target in the middle distance; (3) the kind who aims at many small targets that aren't too far away; or (4) the kind who never aims at any target at all, but just enjoys the thrill of shooting lots of arrows everywhere? This is a perfect time for you to settle on one of these four options.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): My friend Katherine comes from an old Southern family that has recorded its history for generations. She says her great-great-great-grandmother, Elizabeth, was born in Greenville, South Carolina in 1852. Until she was 81 years old, Elizabeth suffered from asthma. Then she was cured completely, and lived free of its ravages until she died in 1955 at the age of 103. I nominate Elizabeth to be your inspirational role model for the next two weeks, Capricorn. Believe it or not, you now have the power to shed a burden or cure a malady that you've always feared was a permanent curse.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Welcome to the Happiness Season, Aquarius. The entire universe is now conspiring to provoke in you an abiding sense of joy and well-being. You can resist, of course; it's your God-given right to use your free will to repel this influx of contentment. But in case you decide to cooperate with the cosmic trend, here are a few helpful thoughts to propel you. "Happiness is a state of going somewhere wholeheartedly, without regret or reservation." William H. Sheldon. "I'd rather be a failure at something I enjoy than be a success at something I hate." George Burns. "Happiness is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose." Helen Keller. "Now and then it's good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy." Anonymous. "To be without some of the things you want is an indispensable part of happiness." Bertrand Russell.
The Televisionary Oracle
A Novel by Rob Brezsny
A lusty but sensitive rock star encounters the leader of a goddess - worshiping religious order that values pranks as much as prayers.
Check out Rob's band World Entertainment War.
Want to know more about Rob, or look up past horoscopes? Visit freewillastrology.com.
You can contact Rob at firstname.lastname@example.org.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): I predict that some of you overly sensitive Pisceans will soon be beaten down by the cold, cruel world. Maybe you'll move in with your parents or flee to the middle of nowhere and live off the grid in a log cabin. Similarly, more than a few of you Piscean artists, actors, writers, and musicians will get weary of the uphill battle to make a living from doing what you love. You'll think about selling out, seeking dull but secure gigs in the corporate world. But I'm begging all of you not to give up. Please continue your heroic struggles to be true to yourselves. If you can manage to hold on a while longer, you will be blessed with a breakthrough no later than September 1.
HOMEWORKGive names to the trees and plants you're most familiar with. Address them with a fond greeting whenever you see them.