By Jena Ardell
By Jon Campbell
By Alan Scherstuhl
By Tessa Stuart
By Roy Edroso
By Jon Campbell
By Albert Samaha
By Zachary D. Roberts
To his advantage, Branson has lovelier hair than TRUMP, not to mention more generous attitudes. "One of Trump's famous statements is 'You can't trust your best friend,' " said Branson. "I think quite the reverse. You've got to trust people, and if you do, you'll be surprised how much you get back." Good pointand so is the one on the knife I regularly use to backstab loved ones.
But trust me, kids: Sight Unseen is a superbly acted, challenging play about a selfish, hypocritical artistwhom I love. Please make Sight seen, but not if you need linear plots or circular fountains to round out a fulfilling evening.
More urgently, will GWYNETH's APPLE fall very far from the tree? I mean, what's that about? How sick is that? That's a good thing. There you go. What part of no don't you understand? Not a problem. So we're on the same page? I hear you. You're fired. Wait, am I sounding clichéd?
FOX AND THE HOUND
Over at my ex-employer Vanity Fair, where there are more investigations going on than into the American military presence in Iraq, a Condé Nast rep tells me the rumor that disliked scribe GEORGE WAYNE has been suspended isn't true. Maybe it's not the right time there for the boss to point fingers at anyone else. As for the folks who think we're doing great in Iraq, is it possible that onewell, at least oneof the right-wing maniacs on the Fox News Channel is "fairy and unbalanced"? The Washington Blade's KEVIN NAFF just wrote an editorial saying that on a recent visit to a New York gay bar, one of that channel's anchors got a wee bit tipsy and hit on him Lindsay Lohan-style. Naff responded by telling the sauced star that he's not single, and besides he would never date anyone in the closet. (Same hereI won't take anyone out unless he's already out.) Spies tell me the guy in question is the one who said "blowjob" on the air and was recently linked to NICOLE KIDMAN. How poetic! Maybe gay boîtes should start "Closeted Only" nights, with half-price poppers bottle service.
In sadder news, Bar D'O, the sleek drag entertainment boite for open-minded oglers, is bye-bye, the rent raise having become a drag.
Moving on to a drag inspiration, I hear crinoline-wearing kook Cyndi Lauper will most likely be the next Audrey in Broadway's Little Shop of Horrors, casting that's so perfect it's amazing it took so long for the "True Colors" gal to be up there singing "Somewhere That's Green." But spies say someone that's Greenenamely Ellen Greene, the original Audreywouldn't mind another chance at the role, though producers have been resistant. What horrors!