By Albert Samaha
By Steve Weinstein
By Devon Maloney
By Tessa Stuart
By Alison Flowers
By Albert Samaha
By Jesse Jarnow
By Eric Tsetsi
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Laughter Yoga (laughteryoga.org) is a new international phenomenon that began in India. Practitioners gather together regularly to engage in half-hour sessions of nonstop chuckling, chortling, and cackling. Yogic breathing exercises supplement the therapeutic value. The month of June will be an ideal time for you Sagittarians to launch local branches of these Laughter Clubs. The astrological omens say you'll be running into an extraordinary number of funny things. That's lucky for you, because you have a lot of accumulated tension to purge, and the best way to do that is by having hilarious experiences.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Your guardian angel is in a feisty mood. I wouldn't be surprised if that not-so-imaginary friend played a trick on you in an attempt to get you to lighten up. Nor would I be shocked if that wise old fool woke you up in the middle of the night to teach you a new freedom song. A kick in the butt isn't out of the question; nor is a tickling sensation in your id or an oddly pleasurable itch in your funny bone. No matter what form they take, Capricorn, I urge you to regard these visits from your secret helper as gifts of inspiration.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): The Weekly World News sponsored Wear Your Thong to Work Day last March 26. I didn't tell you about it back then because you just weren't ready for it. This week, though, I can justify advising you to stage your very own Wear Your Thong to Work Day. According to my reading of the astrological omens, you'll have a lot more slack than usual whenever you express the raw, uninhibited, risk-taking sides of your nature. If doing the thong thing isn't the way you'd prefer to cash in on this opportunity, choose something that's a more unique reflection of your daring side. How about an Indulge Your Fantasies Day, or a Be Your Future Self Day?
The Televisionary Oracle
A Novel by Rob Brezsny
A lusty but sensitive rock star encounters the leader of a goddess - worshiping religious order that values pranks as much as prayers.
Check out Rob's band World Entertainment War.
Want to know more about Rob, or look up past horoscopes? Visit freewillastrology.com.
You can contact Rob at email@example.com.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): In the Greek myth, Persephone was abducted by Pluto, god of the underworld. He took her to his domain with the intention of making her his queen. Persephone's mother, Demeter, pleaded with Zeus to intervene, and he agreed to do so, declaring that as long as Persephone had not eaten any food while in the underworld, she had to be returned to her mother. But by then it was too late: Persephone had already nibbled four pomegranate seeds. Eventually, a compromise was reached: Zeus decreed that Persephone must dwell in Pluto's realm for four months of every year, but could live in the sunlight the rest of the time. The moral of the story, as far as you're concerned, Pisces: Don't eat even one bite of that underworld food.
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