By Michael Musto
By Capt. James Van Thach told to Jonathan Wei
By Kera Bolonik
By Michael Musto
By Nick Pinto
By Steve Weinstein
By Michael Musto
By Michael Musto
Free Will Astrology By Rob Brezsny
The Televisionary Oracle
A Novel by Rob Brezsny
A lusty but sensitive rock star encounters the leader of a goddess - worshiping religious order that values pranks as much as prayers.
Check out Rob's band World Entertainment War.
Want to know more about Rob, or look up past horoscopes? Visit freewillastrology.com.
You can contact Rob at firstname.lastname@example.org.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): One of my readers, Elizabeth Whitsage, told me a story of when she was working at Disneyland selling mouse-eared balloons. Every so often a mother, father, and young son would come up to her, the parents asking in enthusiastic voices, "What color do you want?" and the son answering, "Pink!" One parent, usually the father, would recoil in horror and say something like "No, son, don't you want red or blue?" But before the child could reply, Elizabeth would whip a pink balloon out of the bunch and wrap its string around his wrist. Then she'd smile and say to the dad, "That'll be one dollar, please." Keep this story uppermost in mind during the week ahead, Taurus. Make sure that you always get and always give your personal equivalent of the pink balloon.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): From an astrological perspective, last January wasn't an ideal time to make New Year's resolutions. I'd be surprised if you kept any of the promises you made back then. On the other hand, now is a perfect moment to make New Year's-type resolutions. Here are a few free samples to inspire you. (1) "I resolve to seek out conversations that are so intense and interesting that I lose track of time." (2) "While in the throes of road rage, I resolve to howl like a wolf." (3) "I resolve to unashamedly pray for cash, enjoy how messy my room is, and sing along loudly with the Muzak in public places."
CANCER (June 21-July 22): Jean-Dominique Bauby was a 43-year-old editor when he suffered an unusual stroke. Though his mind remained undamaged, his entire body was paralyzed except for his left eye. Slowly he learned to communicate in code by blinking, and over the next two years he dictated a memoir. Feeling as if he were trapped in a diving bell, but with his imagination as free as a butterfly, he called his book The Diving Bell and the Butterfly. Critics have described it as "inspirational" and "a jewel." Bauby is your role model during this last difficult phase of your yearly cycle, Cancerian. Though you won't suffer from any physical affliction, your psychic turmoil may make you feel imprisoned and inaccessible. And yet I promise you that you can find a way to liberate your mind and convey luminous truths to the people who matter.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): I don't know if you're the type of person who enjoys trance-dancing half undressed till 4 a.m. at bacchanalian parties, then prowling the early-morning streets barking at the moon and singing songs from Broadway musicals with loony companions until you end up playing strip poker outside an all-night diner as the sun comes up. But if you are that type of person, this will be a perfect week to indulge your inclinations. If you're not, please find an equivalent adventure that you're comfortable with. 'Tis the season to be rowdy.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): I propose that you drink a toast to Virgo actress Sophia Loren, who has been in 100 movies during her long career. To do so may help you take maximum advantage of this phase of your astrological cycle, when your instinct for creating abundance and longevity is at a peak. Are you game? Say this: "May the spirit of Sophia Loren come to me in my dreams and reveal her secret of enduring success." I suggest you also visualize Loren's 40th birthday, when her husband gave her a custom-made, 14-karat-gold toilet seat. Then drink a toast to yourself, saying: "As compensation for all the times that fate has kicked my ass over the years, may I now receive a reward that's as luxurious as Sophia Loren's magic toilet seat."
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): This is a perfect time to translate your recent inner changes into a visible form. If you're an artist, start work on a masterpiece that reflects your fresh insights. If you're a businessperson, dream up novel approaches to making money from doing what you love. If you're a politician, get yourself a new spin doctor. If you're between gigs, experiment with your physical appearance. However you do it, Libra, show the world vivid evidence of how you've transformed.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Aeschylus, the seminal playwright of ancient Greece, wrote over 90 plays, but most did not survive the ravages of time. The evidence for his renown has consisted of just seven works. Recently, however, archaeologists have discovered an eighth, Achilles. It was on a papyrus scroll stuffed inside an Egyptian mummy. This summer, a theater company in Cyprus will stage the play for the first time in over 2,000 years. I urge you Scorpios to be alert for ways this story can serve as a metaphor for your personal quest in the near future. What old but dynamic parts of your life have been all but lost? How can you regain access to them and make them work for you now?
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