Death of a Salesman

Ronald Reagan, 1911–2004

No doubt, it will work, too. I lived in Hollywood in the '80s, and back then, the legend was that Reagan's star needed the most upkeep on the Walk of Fame: It was constantly being defaced by vomit and urine. (Even or especially in Hollywood, it's possible to feel far from Disneyland.) But it's hard to pee on Mount Rushmore; you'll only end up wetting your own face. So watch it, kids. Static crackle, signal fainter: This is WPFL, signing off. If you ask me, the best that can be said for Ronald Reagan is that, if George W. Bush gets re-elected, we may yet end up missing him.

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