My Big Fat Funky Queer Marriage
Forget the rice. (We're on Atkins.) No his-and-his towels. (Nothing matches in our house.) Just give us Viagra—and wish us well
Too many straight couples are caught in the conflict between the old hetero ideal of monogamy and the new lived reality. I hope gay couples don't put themselves in a similar bind. Our tradition is flexibility—and I think this value can help our marriages endure. Indeed, the scant data from Denmark and Vermont suggest that gay and lesbian couples are more likely to stick together than are straights. One reason may be their willingness to be supple about the basis of their bond.
When this fight is won, Tony and I will show up at the marriage bureau, not because we yearn to be normal but because matrimony agrees with us. We've both been married before to women whom we still love. I told you we weren't a typical gay couple. Maybe that makes this advice suspect, but I'll give it anyway:
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Hello, queer lovers, wherever you are.
You can have your wedding cake and eat it, too.
Marriage is what you make of it,
Not what it makes of you.
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