By Alex Distefano
By Scott Snowden
By Anna Merlan
By Steve Almond
By Jena Ardell
By Jon Campbell
By Alan Scherstuhl
By Tessa Stuart
But if you've ever had the pleasure of indulging in one or several bathtub martinis, you know congeners aren't the only variable contributing to your morning malaise. As David Wondrich puts it, "Gin doesn't have a lot of congeners, but boy howdy, I've had some hangovers on that." Alcohol and acetaldehyde are also prime suspects, but not the only ones. "Even if it is congeners," agrees Wiese, "you still have dehydration and poor sleep."
"Drink seltzer or, better yet, Pedialyte (Gatorade is for amateurs), eat a Domino's pizza, and start drinking again."
"Before I go out, I have breadsoaked in olive oil and a glass of milk. Then a large glass of water next to whatever I'm drinking—as you dehydrate, you need to hydrate—and two aspirin with lots of water before bed. In the morning, ice-cold chocolate milk with a bacon, egg, and cheese on a roll, followed by a Coca-Cola. And more water."
"A few whiffs of oxygen are a sure cure. It doesn't help the queasiness, but it gets rid of the headache."
Jeremy's Ale House
"I like to take a brisk walk. You feel worse in the beginning but better by the end. Also hot, greasy food—abandon all pretensions to diet—and Coca-Cola. And lots of hours spent in a dark room—groaning."
That the scientific basis for the hangover is still shrouded in mystery may explain why so many remain skeptical of the current cures' claims. "It's like Viagra," says Wondrich. "For thousands of years, people have been promoting a sure potency solution, but when it came, people knew it." Or maybe excessive drinkers just need a pill that improves their judgment. As Jimmy Duff says, "One that keeps you from waking up next to ugly people the next day."