NY Mirror

And now for my two cents about twist endings on the small screen. LOGO, the gay channel, recently announced its upcoming slate of shows, which is a fine, diverse bunch of programming and very thrilling, progressive, and blah blah blah. But the bitch in me noticed that no less than four personalities who through the years have said, respectively, "I'm not a lesbian," "I'm not gay, I'm neutral," "Ellen is too gay," and "I'm fluid, sexually" seem to have deals and I don't! Maybe I should have played it cagier all this time? Or maybe these people are gayer now that there are suddenly opportunities for that sort of thing? Or maybe—here comes Pollyanna—the community has simply gotten noble enough to embrace all types, including bi, bi-curious, questioning, and deeply delayed? In any case, I'm still gay and ready for my close-up.

And now for this column's twist ending (but don't tell friends about it. That annoys them). Do you think ASHLEY OLSEN ever imagined she'd become known as "the fat one"?

Litter Box

Lady Bunny DJ'd at a roof-deck party in Bridgehampton last week and apparently her spinning was even louder than her outfit, promptly drawing police action (though Bunny didn't personally receive a ticket). "The great thing about being a drag DJ," Bunny told me, "is you can always fall back on the dumb-blonde thing. I used an old Wigstock trick, telling the crowd, 'Let's all say hi to the boys in the blues!' I managed to charm them." The complaint, she adds, "came in the direction of LORRAINE BRACCO's house. I'm glad it was the police and not other people who were sent over to discipline us!"

No stranger to cheering up authorities, Bunny admits she recently marched into the army recruiting center in Times Square and blurted, "Hi!I heard you've been looking for me. I'm OSAMA BIN LADEN!" Rather than behead—or at least bewig—Bunny, they wanted to take pictures with her! Relates the Teflon drag queen, "I said, 'If you think the Abu Ghraib photos were blackmail material, wait till people see these!' "

Next up, Bunny will be hosting Wigstock on August 21 at 5 p.m. in Tompkins Square Park. So let's all say hi to the boys in the boobs!

Web Extra

Apparently not all drag performers are men dressed as women. To wit, Movieline's Hollywood Life magazine just reported that "quirky" director John Waters was seen having a cheeseburger at Joe, Jr. with a "drag queen." Well, someone needs glasses because Paper's long-haired but all-male Dennis Dermody says the person in question was him! And he hates the word quirky too!


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