By Albert Samaha
By Steve Weinstein
By Devon Maloney
By Tessa Stuart
By Alison Flowers
By Albert Samaha
By Jesse Jarnow
By Eric Tsetsi
SAGITTARIUS(Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Writing in the San Francisco Chronicle, business writer David Lazarus reported that the senior managers of the Pacific Gas and Electric Company gave themselves $169 million in bonuses "for doing such a good job during the utility's bankruptcy proceedings." With the authority vested in me by the cosmic powers that be, I hereby authorize you to shower yourself with an equivalent barrage of blessings for all the hard work you've done during the last 10 months. And please don't be shy about imitating the example of the PG&E chiefs: Reward yourself handsomely even if you've accomplished little more than saving your own ass.
CAPRICORN(Dec. 22-Jan. 19): "I produce music as an apple tree produces apples," proclaimed the French pianist and composer Camille Saint-Saëns. Your assignment in the coming week, Capricorn, is to do the research and meditation necessary so you can accurately complete the following sentence: "I produce ________ as an apple tree produces apples." You need to know beyond any doubt what precise gift you were born to give the world; you cannot move on to the next phase of your evolution until you are utterly clear about what nature yearns to create through you.
AQUARIUS(Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Bill Joy is a farseeing computer scientist who developed many technologies for Sun Microsystems, an influential company he co-founded. You Aquarians are now entering into a "Bill Joy" phase of your astrological cycle, a time when you're most likely to be expansive, pioneering, and innovative. Here's Joy's important message for you about what not to do. "My own biggest mistake in the last 20 years was that I designed solutions for problems that people didn't yet know they had," he told Fortune magazine. "That's why some of the things that could've made a difference couldn't find a market. The hardest part isn't inventing the solution, but figuring out how to get people to adopt it." Translation: As you dream up fresh approaches and imaginative departures, make sure you communicate about them with enthusiastic clarity to the people they'll affect most.
The Televisionary Oracle
A Novel by Rob Brezsny
A lusty but sensitive rock star encounters the leader of a goddess-worshiping religious order that values pranks as much as prayers.
Check out Rob's band World Entertainment War.
Want to know more about Rob, or look up past horoscopes? Visit freewillastrology.com.
You can contact Rob at firstname.lastname@example.org.
PISCES(Feb. 19-March 20): Many of the poets I like are mavericks, visionaries, and prophets, and more than a few belong to what poet Anne Waldman calls the "outrider tradition." But since it would be unpoetic to have a closed mind toward more traditional stuff, I've been reading America's new poet laureate, Ted Kooser. A retired vice president of a life insurance company in Nebraska, he enjoys yard sales and pork roast. Surprisingly, though, his poetry reveals a wild streak. It's not expressed in descriptions of reckless love affairs and manic excursions to the frontiers of sanity, but in a humble wisdom forged through his brave, unsentimental tenderness. That's the kind of wildness I wish for you in the coming weeks, Pisces: the crafty, loving, constructive kind.