By Albert Samaha
By Steve Weinstein
By Devon Maloney
By Tessa Stuart
By Alison Flowers
By Albert Samaha
By Jesse Jarnow
By Eric Tsetsi
Still, I did love the list of Paris's hottest men, which starts with "my boyfriend" (no name is giventhey knew there'd be a new guy by the pub date). And I was pleased to read the statement "I never pee on the floor"then realized that chapter is a diary by Paris's dog, Tinkerbell!
Yet more fashion folly came when style mavens tried to party on a rainy Rosh Hashanah night last week. Imitation of Christ's kabbalah-lovin' handlers even booked a sparse bash. And at Lot 61, Jack's designer daughter JENNIFER NICHOLSON tried to celebrate her birthday and confided to me, "I didn't know it was a Jewish holiday. Someone should have told me! How did you know?" "Someone told me," I responded.
Oh, the burdens of being a columnist!
Questions for the strong-stomached
What fabulous diva paces around her A.A. meetings playing with her handbag whenever other people are speaking, but when it's her turn, takes the stage to tell long-winded career tales, seemingly using the event as a performance workshop? What same legend is known to give her number to beginners in the group, who think they're gonna be helped by or become friends with the old broad, only to find out she merely wants them to do something like fix her roof? What cutie researched his gay role by playing around with his co-star and was amazed at how serious it got and how much he liked it?
What Mexican actor just disappointed me deeply? (Free answer: DIEGO LUNA, who told the Daily News about his gay scene in Y Tu Mamá También, "I still have nightmares about that." Whybecause it made you a star?) Did you ever notice how much VICTORIA GOTTI looks like DONATELLA VERSACE? (Even more than the Hiltons resemble Nelson, right?)
Pushing the Envelope
By far the most memorable Emmy Awards speech was that of grand dame ELAINE STRITCH, who thanked one of her producers (but mispronounced his name and said she didn't like him much) and expressed unrepentant glee that the other four nominees lost! The opposite approachi.e., patronizing and panderinggave us the evening's most hideous moment when West Wing's normally delightful ALLISON JANNEY insisted that MARISKA HARGITAY, whom she'd just beaten, come join her onstage. Hargitay looked mortified as she crawled up there, only to be completely ignored by Janney and even the camera! (Maybe it wasn't so opposite after all.) No wonder the other three losers sat frozen as Janney begged them to drag their sad asses up there too.
An almost-as-awkward moment came when SARAH JESSICA PARKER won and had to give KIM CATTRALL the quickest, most unloving air kiss in history. And the show's biggest missed opportunity happened when BARBARA WALTERS presented a major trophy to Angels in America. Instead of just saying, "The Emmy goes to . . .," Babs should have announced, "By the way, I once dated this show's lead characterthe self-loathing, AIDS-riddled, virulently evil denial queen Roy Cohn. Congrats, guys!"
By the way, before you take away my own gay Pulitzer, I'm well aware that Atlantic City's current labor problems make it less than completely fabulous. I sincerely hope the dispute is worked out soon, so we can prevent more "jumpers."
What about the media outing of CYNTHIA NIXON, so unabashedly carried out in both the Daily News and the Post? Some of the same columnists who are now either breaking that story or jumping on it used to crucify the likes of me and outing pioneer Michelangelo Signorile for routinely announcing the gay sexuality of celebrities. But years of whittling down at prejudices have made gayness more reportable, especially since the entertainment landscape now includes positive out gay images, making queers more visible and appealing to the masses. (Sex and the City itself, interestingly enough, helped contribute to that phenomenon.) A legal decision earlier this year also argued that it's not intrinsically libelous to say someone's gay, even if they're not!
On top of these developments, a lot of the show biz press have finally realized that (a) Saying someone's gay doesn't make them gayyou're just reporting it; (b) If you're gonna dig into "dirt" that these people don't want in print, leaving out homosexuality is hypocritical and biased; and (c) It's OK to be gay, so outing someone isn't a condemnation at all, it's just a fact!
Things have progressed so much that, far from the old-style furious outings of a more closeted era, the Nixon reports were done in an angst-free, even positive way, with pains taken to point out how successful and happy Nixon is. I'm thrilled she has an Emmy and a girlfriend. I'm just upset that this is one scoop that eluded my otherwise perfect gaydar. I thought she was just a fag hag!